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Mother Daughter Bonding

By khaoula1992 Apr 07, 2013 1440 Words
Mother-Daughter Bonding
The bond between a mother and her child is not like any other bond because they share a strong relationship even before the birth of the child. Therefore, the main topic of my suggested selections in this paper is the mother-daughter relationship. The child spends the first years of her life with her mother so all what she teaches her will affect her life and their future relationship. My first suggestion is a review essay titled "Mothers and Daughters” by Marianne Hirsh. It is a good introduction for my chapter because it explains the history of the mother-daughter bond. The second and third selections are short stories from the same book and written by the same author who is Gerd Fenchel and titled "Mary and Her Mother: The First Three Years." and "Laurie and Her Mother: The First Three Years.” From the titles we notice that both stories talk about the first three years of the child with her mother. Growing up from being a daughter to a mother has a big effect in the mother-daughter relationship, so I decided that my fourth suggestion would be "Transitions in the Mother-Daughter Relationship." by Lucy Rose Fischer because this article explains how the mother-daughter relationship change when the daughter become a mother and that they become more close to each other. The last article is “Building a Mother-Daughter Relationship” by Shannon Boone who explains to reasons behind the success of nowadays mother-daughter relationship and how they can improve it to become better. Marianne Hirch, while writing her review essay "Mothers and Daughters" refers to many sources and people that helped her to write the essay such as the Wellesley Center for Research on Women, member of the Dartmouth University Seminar on Feminist Inquiry and the Newberry Library feminist Criticism (200). At the beginning of the essay she shows the importance of this relationship through Adrienne Rich’s quote, "The cathexis between mother and daughter-essential, distorted, misused-is the great unwritten story"(200). This quote is about the relationship between the mother and her daughter, which is very important in a woman’s life and the silence that surrounded this bonding for a long time in the past centuries. I find this article very important to start my chapter because it explains the history of this strong bond. Also, why after a long silence we can now find lot of articles, essay, short stories, and poem that has it as a theme. This article is a good introduction for students before they start analyzing and reading specific texts about mothers and their daughters. After reading this article students will be able to understand and explain the responses of mothers and daughters toward each other. "Mary and Her Mother: The First Three Years." and "Laurie and Her Mother: The First Three Years." are two short stories and have two mothers and their two daughters as the main characters. Both stories are long so I decided to include the events that take place in the first three years after the birth of the child. The objective is to study and analysis the responses and the reactions of the child and the mother toward each other during the first years. Through reading the both selections we realize that the relationship between Mary and her mother is different than the connection between Laurie and her mother. The student can compare the relationships and conclude which one is the perfect one and how the mother’s education affects her child response. Laurie’s mother seems to be more enjoying her life with her daughter and she encourage her while growing and her love is obvious through the story. However, Mary’s mother is so protective and is satisfied when she knows that the others love and admire her daughter, and this shows that her love is related to the others’ love to her daughter. After talking about the relationship between mothers and daughter during the three first years of the child, and how the two sides respond to each other in the previous short stories I will suggest to include the following research essay "Transitions in the Mother-Daughter Relationship." by Lucy Rose Fischer in my chapter. This article explains the impact of getting married on the mother-daughter relationship. After reading the article, we realize that the research end up to a conclusion that said that the mothers and daughters try to reevaluate each other once the daughter become a mother. As a result the two of them start being involved in each other’s lives. About this transition Lucy lists a quote of Freud that says, “Under the influence of woman’s becoming a mother herself, an identification with her own mother may be revised, against which she had striven up till the time of her marriage”(613). After marriage and being a mother, the daughter starts to be more close to her mother, and get to understand her mother’s fair. The "Transitions in the Mother-Daughter Relationship." essay can be compared with the short stories of the three years old daughters. Using the first article, which is about the relationship between the daughter and mother we can explain the connection between mothers and daughters that are mentioned on the Fischer’s essay. Then, the student can make a comparison between the mother-daughter before marriage and after marriage. Through the comparison and analysis the students conclude in which stage of life the connection is stronger. The last article is “Building Mother-Daughter Relationship” by Shannon Boone, which explains the best way to build a successful and strong mother-daughter relationships. Since this article is recent it useful because we can use it to comment on the previous selections and compare the past and present mother-daughter bonding. The article says that nowadays the mother try to advice their daughter without imposing their decisions or choices. There is a big different between the past mother-daughter relationship and the present that can be concluded from the five suggested selections. The mothers in the past try to control their daughters’ lives; in the other hand nowadays the mothers give more freedom to their daughters. The article stands that the daughters listen to their mothers’ advices, but it’s their responsibility to take the final decisions. In this case the daughters take the responsibility of their dentitions, and don’t say that they had to do what is against their beliefs. To conclude, I choose the mothers daughters bond as a title for my chapter for the importance of this relationship, and because most of the mothers and daughters wish for a stronger relation with each other. Since these bonding starts from an early age I suggested two articles that tell the stories of a pairs of mother and daughter after reading the first article that explains the history and theories behind the mothers-daughters relationship. Then, an essay that represents the transition in the mother-daughter bonding after getting the daughters get married and have children which push the both side to reevaluate their relationship and get involved in each others’ lives. The final suggestion for my chapter is an article that talks how mothers and daughters can build a strong bonding, and the writer explain in details how the present mothers react with their daughter and what make their relationship a good success. The selections have a strong connection and can be compared in different ways. The student can analyze the context of each reading and compare their style, point view of the authors and how they treated and supported the content of the text. These selections are one of the best literature productions that explain the one of the basic human relationships which is the mother daughter connecter. In reality the mothers and daughter often seems farther way but through this reading the student will discover how this bonding can be complex and filled of emotions and compassion.

Works cited
Fenchel, Gerd H. "Laurie and Her Mother: The First Three Years." The Mother-daughter Relationship: Echoes through Time. Northvale, J. Aronso, 1998. 11-16. Print. Fenchel, Gerd H. "Mary and Her Mother: The First Three Years." The Mother-daughter Relationship: Echoes through Time. Northvale, J. Aronson, 1998. 19-23. Print. Fischer, Lucy Rose. "Transitions in the Mother-Daughter Relationship." Journal of Marriage and Family. 43.3. (August 1981): 613-22. JOSTER. Web. 12 Apr. 2012. Hirsch, Marianne. " Mothers and Daughters. ". Signs. 7.1. (Autumn, 1981): 200-22. JSTOR. Web.12 Apr. 2012. Leonard, Shannon Boone. "Building a Mother-Daughter Relationship." Today's Woman. 16.5 May 2006: 54-55. ProQuest. Web. 12 Apr. 2012.

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