Monologue About Relationships
I meet a lot of guys who are not getting what they want from their relationships. Why? Well, if you ask them if they have a relationship goal, most have vague ideas about more. More alone time. More touch. More appreciation. More sex. More respect.
Believe me, that's a good place to start. But there's a funny thing about relationships. They resist direct attempts at changing them. So, these kinds of goals are destined not only to fail, but to get you farther from where you are headed than you are right now. Maybe you've seen this...
Steve approaches his wife Maria like so. "Honey, I've been feeling like we haven't been spending a lot of time alone together. I need more time with you. And I need to be touched more. So, tomorrow after the kids …show more content…
And even if she is, if he keeps them up things are going to go downhill.
To avoid a similar fate, I want you to understand a few relationship goal principles that I happened to learn the hard way. Here they are:
1. Focus on the present. Notice how Steve talked a lot about past mistakes. That's gonna come off very judgemental to your woman. She's going to feel like she's not what you want. Like your expectations are too high. That she can't live up to them. Instead talk about what you can do right now: "Hey, babe. Your skin feels so soft today. I gotta have more. How's about when the kids are in bed, I give you a little Fernando the master masseuse action?"
2. Focus on the positive. So, she hasn't touched you the way you wanted her to in a month. What if the best contact you've had lately was that time she punched you in the chest during your last fight? Swallow your pride and be true to what you really want. Focusing on the positive means talking only about what you want to happen, not about what's been happening so far that you don't like. It means approaching it from a casual place. An "I believe this can happen"
Believe me, that's a good place to start. But there's a funny thing about relationships. They resist direct attempts at changing them. So, these kinds of goals are destined not only to fail, but to get you farther from where you are headed than you are right now. Maybe you've seen this...
Steve approaches his wife Maria like so. "Honey, I've been feeling like we haven't been spending a lot of time alone together. I need more time with you. And I need to be touched more. So, tomorrow after the kids …show more content…
And even if she is, if he keeps them up things are going to go downhill.
To avoid a similar fate, I want you to understand a few relationship goal principles that I happened to learn the hard way. Here they are:
1. Focus on the present. Notice how Steve talked a lot about past mistakes. That's gonna come off very judgemental to your woman. She's going to feel like she's not what you want. Like your expectations are too high. That she can't live up to them. Instead talk about what you can do right now: "Hey, babe. Your skin feels so soft today. I gotta have more. How's about when the kids are in bed, I give you a little Fernando the master masseuse action?"
2. Focus on the positive. So, she hasn't touched you the way you wanted her to in a month. What if the best contact you've had lately was that time she punched you in the chest during your last fight? Swallow your pride and be true to what you really want. Focusing on the positive means talking only about what you want to happen, not about what's been happening so far that you don't like. It means approaching it from a casual place. An "I believe this can happen"