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Modern Arranged Marriages

Oct 08, 1999 513 Words
Everyone knows how hard it is to find a mate for marriage. Having said that, each person is free to decide how the mate selection will take place. Some people would rather conduct this selection by themselves, without any help, while others prefer to get help from someone else, like their parents or a matchmaker. Before continuing it is wise to make a distinction between the traditional arranged marriage and the modern definition of an arranged marriage. The arranged marriages that happen by tradition in parts of Africa, most of Asia and a good portion of Eastern Europe are determined by the parents without the consent of the future couple. The modern view is very different from traditional view. Today's definition makes a distinct emphasis on choice, courtship and convenience. In most instances it is a service, provided by an agency, or a good friend. The purpose is to find a compatible mate, with the greatest number of similarities and the same primary objective: marriage. This text will compare and contrast some of the advantages and disadvantages of today's version of the arranged marriage. <br>

<br>It is clear that the concept itself is controversial. Some people find it cold and little romantic to choose your lifelong partner using this method. Most young people tend to believe that the only way to choose a mate is to date until you fall in love plan a wedding and get married. This point of view is not very realistic if we define marriage as a lifelong commitment. If the young marriage is based on love alone the soon to be adults may grow together based on other similarities or goals they have identified, or may grow apart because they have found nothing else to keep them together. It is safe to say that you will have better chances for success in this commitment if you have countless qualities in common with your future partner. <br>

<br>Another school of thought identifies convenience as the most important aspect of a marriage; the best way to meet an economic goal or reach a higher social status. This way of thinking is completely opposite from ¨loves¨ point of view. Here feelings have little importance for the only real purpose is personal gain. A relationship based on these selfish principles will never succeed. Trust will never flourish and the relationship will eventually end in divorce. <br>

<br>In conclusion, the best way to insure a successful marriage is to find a balance between both previously discussed views, while using every means possible to identify potential mates, including arranged marriages. The purpose of an arranged marriage is to obtain a secure connection between people with similar interests, needs and goals (education level, religious beliefs, similar cultural values, and financial stability). A marriage requires a more durable foundation and it can not survive on love alone. So be wise, there is more involved in the choosing of a partner than pure convenience or pure passion. Most anyone can find something to "love, honor, or cherish" in someone else.

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