Mate Selection And Cohabitation: Chapter Analysis
Mate Selection and Cohabitation
The authors begin this chapter by defining mate selection as process by which unmarried couples get to choose who they will marry. They proceed to distinguishing mate selection in traditional cultures versus modern cultures. In traditional cultures, families have the power to select their children’s spouses. In this kind of selection, the spouse comes mostly from their extended families depending on who they see as the fittest partner for their child. On the other hand, in the modern era, the two young people get involved in the process of selecting who they will marry. Additionally, in this era people believe that finding a mate is mainly about personal attraction and romantic love. The authors also go on to …show more content…
In sum cultures such as certain countries in Europe view cohabitation as an alternative to marriage while other cultures may view it as a step toward marriage. However, other cultures such the western culture have an in-between view of cohabitation. The book states that the more cases of cohabitation, the more cases of divorce are observed. This was proven through various experiments on different couples. From a personal observation, sexual intimacy, the need to split expenses, and companionship are the main drivers of cohabitation. In my opinion, one needs some time to connect with their partner on a spiritual and emotional level before engaging in sexual intimacy. When sexual intimacy is the dominant driver of the cohabitation which in most cases it is, it stands in the way of getting a deeper understanding of who the other person is. Also, I think that individuals who cohabit have a harder time committing to each other for life as they are able to see the other person’s flaws before they enter a binding marriage. Most of the time, those flaws appear as a deal breaker. The situation becomes more complicated when children are involved. As a young Christian, I believe that one should avoid cohabiting since it brings premarital sex into the equation which is a sin in front of God. However, I think that the church should not abandon those who have fallen into the trap of cohabiting and possibly had children out of marriage. Our purpose is to glorify God and love our fellow humans as Christ loved
The authors begin this chapter by defining mate selection as process by which unmarried couples get to choose who they will marry. They proceed to distinguishing mate selection in traditional cultures versus modern cultures. In traditional cultures, families have the power to select their children’s spouses. In this kind of selection, the spouse comes mostly from their extended families depending on who they see as the fittest partner for their child. On the other hand, in the modern era, the two young people get involved in the process of selecting who they will marry. Additionally, in this era people believe that finding a mate is mainly about personal attraction and romantic love. The authors also go on to …show more content…
In sum cultures such as certain countries in Europe view cohabitation as an alternative to marriage while other cultures may view it as a step toward marriage. However, other cultures such the western culture have an in-between view of cohabitation. The book states that the more cases of cohabitation, the more cases of divorce are observed. This was proven through various experiments on different couples. From a personal observation, sexual intimacy, the need to split expenses, and companionship are the main drivers of cohabitation. In my opinion, one needs some time to connect with their partner on a spiritual and emotional level before engaging in sexual intimacy. When sexual intimacy is the dominant driver of the cohabitation which in most cases it is, it stands in the way of getting a deeper understanding of who the other person is. Also, I think that individuals who cohabit have a harder time committing to each other for life as they are able to see the other person’s flaws before they enter a binding marriage. Most of the time, those flaws appear as a deal breaker. The situation becomes more complicated when children are involved. As a young Christian, I believe that one should avoid cohabiting since it brings premarital sex into the equation which is a sin in front of God. However, I think that the church should not abandon those who have fallen into the trap of cohabiting and possibly had children out of marriage. Our purpose is to glorify God and love our fellow humans as Christ loved