Marriage & Divorce
March 16-17, 2012
Relationship Rescue from My Point of View
The book Relationship Rescue by Dr. Philip McGraw is all about saving your relationship. It gives many tips and techniques to get your relationship back on the right track. The purpose of the book is to provide help for and salvage any relationship in risk of failing. While seeking therapy for your relationship is often encouraged it is not always feasible so this book is seen as a great alternative. It is said by many to be a very good book. It is very interactive and straight to the point. My plan is to discuss different ideas from the book and elaborate on them a bit more incorporating the vast number things we discussed in class. I will also be including many of my thoughts on the different subjects and we will move on from there. Mr. Byron in your Marriage and Divorce class you taught us many different things. One thing in particular being that before two people decide to get married, and become One they should be whole themselves. Many people think that they marry to become whole that they marry their “other half”. When in reality you should never marry to relieve your feeling of loneliness or your feeling of being incomplete. These are both major pitfalls in many relationships today. The goal is for two people who are whole and confident with who it is that they are individually can join together as two whole people and form a strong bond. This is also discussed in Relationship Rescue briefly stated that before you can be truly happy together that you need to be happy and confident within yourself. This wholeness of self gives you the ability
to retain your sense of identity when you join together with another person. Like the example of the Unity Candle we discussed in class. It two half wicks join together they just make one whole wick. That doesn’t really make the candle burn very bright but it would burn a lot brighter they were both whole to begin with. If more people could see how important it is to be whole prior to entering into a covenant as important as marriage I think the divorce rates in America would be drastically lower. It is often looked over and not really discussed in today’s society but it is extremely important. Wholeness is absolutely essential, and if there is a marriage where only one individual is whole and the other is not, the reliance of the half on the whole can and not only that will begin to cause conflict. You can’t rely solely on one individual to be the giver and also the taker of your happiness. Because once they leave and take your happiness with them you will realize just how incomplete you are and it will affect you greater than someone who was indeed whole from the beginning. Dr. Phil does not dive as deeply into the subject as I would have liked him to but it was mentioned to some extent in the book which I do indeed appreciate. Mr. Byron in your Marriage and Divorce class we talked a lot about problem solving. Now in Relationship Rescue I found there to be an extreme lack of emphasis on problem-solving and conflict resolution. In fact Dr. Phil states it is “completely naïve & fanciful thinking to believe serious disagreements can be resolved.” I in no way agree with this statement of Dr. Phil’s view on the subject but it is indeed his view which he has a right to. In class we discussed the importance of problem solving skills in a relationship. We actually discussed that how an individual resolves and/or deals with conflict is an important thing to look at and notice prior to marriage. The lack of these skills or the presence of really bad methods of problem 3
solving could truly devastate a marriage. In class we did the Couple House Foundation and problem solving was actually a very thick layer in that foundation accompanied by decision making and style of conflict resolution. I don’t agree with Dr. Phil because if serious...
References: McGraw, P. C. (2000). Relationship rescue. (p. 272). New York, NY: Hyperion.
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