Lying: the Ways of Horrible People!
All of us have told a lie at sometime in our lives. Many people lie daily, some to the point that they don’t even realize their fibbing.
To make matters more complicated we often can’t even agree on what a lie is. If a child asks you if the picture he drew is pretty, and it isn’t, what do you say then? What about when Aunt Hilda asks you what you think of her new hairdo?
The Bible tells us to speak the truth in love, but doing so is a learned skill. You can tell Aunt Hilda, “That purple hair sticking straight out makes you look like a scary Martian.” Or you can speak the truth in love by saying, “Well, I must say I have never seen another hairdo quite like it. It is really unique. How did you get the idea to fix it that way?” Both are truthful, but the latter is also respectful. People who routinely tell false tales think others do not realize they are lying. The reality, however, is that others usually do know the person is lying; they simply choose not to call him on it.
The saddest fact about lying is that it often hurts other people—in particular the person telling the untruths. Ask most people if their lies have ever come back to haunt them and you’ll get a “yes” every time. So knowing the harm we can wreak on ourselves why do we still do it? Consider the following reasons that people often lie.
People Lie to Impress
Lying to impress others might seem harmless. We have worked with some patients who would never steal or try to hurt someone, but would lie by saying what they think you want to hear. This type of person is so afraid of rejection that lying has become a way of life. In the end, however, this action hurts the person who is lying and the people being lied to.
Often when we try to impress someone, we just end up looking silly.
Once people realize we aren’t truthful, everything else we say becomes suspect. The desire to impress others can tempt you to make false statements by bragging and exaggerating. But
To make matters more complicated we often can’t even agree on what a lie is. If a child asks you if the picture he drew is pretty, and it isn’t, what do you say then? What about when Aunt Hilda asks you what you think of her new hairdo?
The Bible tells us to speak the truth in love, but doing so is a learned skill. You can tell Aunt Hilda, “That purple hair sticking straight out makes you look like a scary Martian.” Or you can speak the truth in love by saying, “Well, I must say I have never seen another hairdo quite like it. It is really unique. How did you get the idea to fix it that way?” Both are truthful, but the latter is also respectful. People who routinely tell false tales think others do not realize they are lying. The reality, however, is that others usually do know the person is lying; they simply choose not to call him on it.
The saddest fact about lying is that it often hurts other people—in particular the person telling the untruths. Ask most people if their lies have ever come back to haunt them and you’ll get a “yes” every time. So knowing the harm we can wreak on ourselves why do we still do it? Consider the following reasons that people often lie.
People Lie to Impress
Lying to impress others might seem harmless. We have worked with some patients who would never steal or try to hurt someone, but would lie by saying what they think you want to hear. This type of person is so afraid of rejection that lying has become a way of life. In the end, however, this action hurts the person who is lying and the people being lied to.
Often when we try to impress someone, we just end up looking silly.
Once people realize we aren’t truthful, everything else we say becomes suspect. The desire to impress others can tempt you to make false statements by bragging and exaggerating. But