Lying Hurts Everyone, but Especially the Liar

Topics: Lie, Deception, Paul Ekman Pages: 5 (1841 words) Published: March 27, 2009
Why do people lie? Why do some people seem to NOT be able to tell the truth even when the truth is clearly obvious or evident? What makes a person tell lies instead of the truth?

Liars eventually get caught in their tangled web of lies and deceitfulness. Lying hurts the liar and those who are subjected to the lies of the liar. Lying hurts relationships and it makes the liar untrustworthy. A liar violates the trust others may have had in them when they are caught in their lies. Liars seem to carry an enormous amount of burden upon their shoulders. Think about it..... if you tell a lie, then you have to live a lie and in order to live a lie, you have to remember all the lies you tell and to whom. Remembering the lies becomes quite a heavy burden. Even if the liar lies just a little bit.....the pain they cause hurts a lot. Finding out someone you trusted has lied in such a horrific ways makes you wonder why they did this to begin with? It causes you to wonder why they would not just ruin a relationship, but completely break any possibilities of trusting.

Lying can spill over into other areas of your life such as on the job, with co-workers and employees if you run your own business. Some people lie so much that they believe their lies and it then becomes their "truth". They become habitual liars. People who discover their friend or family member has lied, feels cheated; especially when the lie is about them or becomes personal. Why do people feel compelled to lie? First we must understand why the person has lied to begin with. Are they afraid of the truth? Are they afraid of being caught of wrong-doing? Do they lie because there is something they want and feel the only way to get it is to lie? Compulsive or habitual liars seem to be very lonely people. Some liars must embellish stories so that others will befriend or like them.....or so, thinks the liar. A liar who embellishes stories just to win over "friends" will eventually lose their "friends" when their lies have been discovered.

People who go through life lying believe that their lies will make their lives better. A person who lives their life by lying, does so to avoid the pain of living. Their lives seem to be void of happiness and they live their life unfulfilled. Some people try and justify their lies with, "They will be mad at me if they know the truth," or "They won't be my friend if I tell them the truth." Liars attack their accuser because they believe it makes the lie less than what it is, but the truth is...a lie is a lie and there's no such thing as a "little white lie". A liar lives a miserable life and it seems that they are only happy when everyone around them is just as miserable as they are. It makes no sense.

Lies diminish feelings we have for one another and lies decrease the love we may have felt for one another. Lies destroy relationships. Lies extinguish hope, trust and friendship as well as remove any possibility to believe in the person who lies. Some people say, "Well, why don't we just forgive the liar and move forward?" I'll tell you why. Forgiveness can be stretched to the limits and it’s a word that is frequently over used. Forgiving someone may make YOU feel better, but if the person who causes damage beyond repair continues to lie and they feel no does forgiveness help? To forgive someone for wrongdoing who intentionally lies to cause pain and hurt causes others to become confused. Forgiveness is only appropriate if the liar actually feels remorse for lying......acknowledges they have lied to cause another person pain and if they ask to be forgiven and truly regret their lies and the pain they've caused. Failure to forgive appropriately can make a situation become much worse.

There is also a difference between condoning and forgiveness. Some people condone the liar’s behavior by ignoring it and allowing it to continue. If someone has lied about you or has caused...
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