Loss of a Spouse

Topics: Kübler-Ross model, Life, Death Pages: 4 (537 words) Published: November 4, 2008
Losing A Spouse

This paper serves two purposes. Primarily I hope to write it well and get good

marks for it in class, but it also serves to help me in finishing my grief work.

Elizabeth Kubler Ross stated in 1969 in her book "On Death and Dying" that there

are five primary stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

I believe that she is only half right. As a widow myself, i have indeed experienced all

these stages, but every possible human emotion is experienced with the loss of a spouse

to its extreme and infinite depths, with no time limit or specific end.

When one takes their vows in marriage they most certainly believe it will be a

life long bliss. Indeed some couples do grow old together and recall their lives rocking

on the front porch in retirement waiting for the natural course of events to carry them to

the hereafter. But sometimes death strikes all too soon; like the cancer that claimed my

husbands life.

In the spring of 2006 we shared the news that some back pain and minor digestive

problems were not symptoms of a benign hernia, but esophageal cancer. I remember

when the doctor read from the lab reports, he had tears in his eyes and suddenly it

seemed as if the oxygen was sucked out of the room. I had a lump in my throat and it

was hard to breath as he went over our options for chemotherapy and radiation therapy.

I remember that while I was shocked, I didn't shed a tear; because as a medical

professional I knew that there were effective treatment regimens out there and some

people do beat cancer. They discover it, treat it, and survive. My husband at the age of

54 and a father of two boys aged 6 and 10 would not be one of them. There are a lot of

"firsts" after one has lost a spouse: the first time you come home to an empty house, the

first time you go to a movie alone, the first birthday you celebrate without him, the first...
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