LIFC 602 Research paper Marriage Coaching

Topics: Forgiveness, Marriage, Child abuse Pages: 10 (1985 words) Published: April 22, 2015
Forgiveness and Reconciliation
Diane Jaynes
Liberty University
Individuals and couples have a hard time understanding there are differences between forgiveness and reconciliation. Sometime in a marriage an individual or couple bring into a marriage the pain and baggage from abuse as a child into the marriage. This baggage or unforgiveness can cause problems in the marriage. Marriage or relationship coaches can give individuals or couples a variety of practices and approaches distinctive to their situation that will help them to learn to forgive. The preceding paper will discuss the importance of forgiveness in relationships. The writer of this paper will provide information explaining the differences between forgiveness and reconciliation. This paper will also provide facts regarding forgiveness and reconciliation. The marriage coach will also share scriptures and supportive exercises too be utilized as homework solutions. The material presented in this paper has been gathered from research done by way of the Liberty University On-line Library, professional associational websites, and scholarly books and information presented in this course. Keywords: forgiveness, reconciliation, marriage, Bible, marriage coach, respect Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Recently, the writer of this paper did an interview with a married couple that the husband has unforgiven abuse issues from his biological mother and numerous step mom’s that he beings into their new marriage. The main goal of this paper is to help the individuals realize the need to forgive. In addition, at the same time help clients understand forgiving does not mean they have to build a relationship with the individuals that may have done the abuse. Because of the female trust and respect issues for women that was brought on by the childhood abuse by women, this issue can cause this couple marriage issues. The Differences between Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Forgiveness is an emotion focused coping processes that may perhaps stimulate good health (Worthington, Jr. Everett, L. Witvliet Van Oyen, Charlotte, Pietrini, Pietro, Miller, Andrea, 2007). Whereas, some remunerations of forgiveness and forgivingness surface simply for the reason that they decrease unforgiveness and a few remunerations have a tendency to have additional forgiveness essentials (Worthington, et al 2007). When individuals hold on to unforgiveness in their live, this can cause a lot of anger and stress that can lead to all kinds of emotional, behavioral and health issues. Individuals need to understand that forgiving someone does not denunciate, defend, or overlook the abuse that they may have suffered as a child. Forgivingness happens as a characteristic, where forgiveness is perceived as occurring due to a situational response (Enright, 2012). As a child of God, individuals need to work on acquiring forgivingness as trait to use in everyday life. Reconciliation is a personal course of action when the individual talks with the individual that caused the pain (Ryan, 2008). They talk about what transpired, swap stories, and convey the pain they have felt. They also listen for the regret that will instigate the process of rebuilding trust (Ryan, 2008). Reconciliation is a substantially more complex and intricate course of action that entails moving past forgiveness (Clinton, Dr. Tim, & Hawkins, Dr. Ron, 2009). Forgiveness is personal and reconciliation is a dual undertaking. Statistical Data

Jose Orathinkal, Alfons Vansteenwegen and Roger Burggraeve, did a multi-sectional research that explored the acuity and motivation of 785 heterosexually married adults from Flanders, Belgium (Orathinkal, J., et al, 2008). Fifty percent the adults agree vigorously to agree that: Forgiveness is something freely given. In addition, fifty percent disagrees vigorously to disagree, because they expect the individual to say they are sorry before granted forgiveness (Orathinkal,...

References: Clinton, Dr. Tim, & Hawkins, Dr. Ron. (2009). The Quick Reference Guide to Bibical Counseling. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books. Retrieved February 21, 2015
Dr. Tim Clinton, D. J. (2009). The Quick Reference Guide to Marriage & Family Counseling. Grand Rapid, MI: Baker Books. Retrieved February 14, 2015
Enright, R. D. (2012). Forgiving Life: A pathway to overcoming resentment and creating a legacy of love. Washington D.C.: American Psychological Association.
Gottman, John M, Ph.D, & Silver, Nan. (1999). The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work. New York, New York: Three Rivers Press. Retrieved February 2015
Life Application Study Bible (King James Version ed.). (1997). Tyndale House Publishers.
Orathinkal, J. Vansteenwegen, A. Burggraeve, Roger. (2008). Forgiveness: A perception and motivation study among married adults. Scandinavian Journal of Psychology, 49, 155-160. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9450.2007.00605.x
Parrott Les & Leslie. (2005). The Complete Guide to marriage Mentoring. Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530: Zondervan. Retrieved February 2015
Ryan, L. J. (2008, June 16). National Association for Christian Recovery. Retrieved from
Worthington, Jr. Everett, L. Witvliet Van Oyen, Charlotte, Pietrini, Pietro, Miller, Andrea. (2007). Forgiveness, Health, and Well-Being: A review of Forgiveness, Health, and Well-Being: A review of evidence for emotional versus decisional forgiveness, dispositional forgivingness, and reduced unforgive. Journal of Behavioral Health, 30, 291-302. doi:10.1007/s108565-007-9105-8
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