Thank you for sharing your story which included your son, I enjoyed reading your post.
Realization that we want to raise our child differently from the way we have been raised is an experience that I am familiar with. A unified plan is a good place to start beginning with communication with our spouse to help structure attainment of goals. The second point of development is acknowledgment of realizing milestone attainment. I would set some realistic goals and share with my family the excitement and value of obtaining goals then practice celebrating within reason. Reinforcement of successful parenting and sharing in the reward of good work will set your family up for success.
Mirror preparation to help