japanese aisatsu
In college, as in life, some things are unavoidable: tuition, essays, bad-for-you food…and roommates. Unless you live at home while going to school, from the time you enter the higher education world until you leave it, you will be coping with people in your personal space. In the land of shared space, problems arise frequently – and if you never deal with them, they have the potential to ruin any relationship. Use these tips from experts and real college girls on getting along with your roommate – whether your roomie is a random assignment or your best friend.
1. Talk. If something’s bugging you, bring it up in a non-defensive way rather than assume your roommate can read your mind. Nothing can change unless you acknowledge it. It’s possible that your roommate may not even be aware of the problem.
2. Focus on behavior, not personality. It’s not reasonable to ask people to change who they are, but you can ask them to tone down how they express themselves, especially when it’s invading your turf. So, you can’t criticize someone for being "perky," but you can ask for someone not to talk so much while you’re studying.
3. Stay flexible. It’s not your job to fix anybody else, and it helps to recognize that no one is perfect. Be willing to look at your own behavior. Consider what you could do differently to help the situation instead of only blaming your roommate.
4. Start with one pet peeve. What can you absolutely not deal with? What do you find extremely irritating, but could live with if you had to? There are probably tons of things your roommate does that get on your nerves. But nothing kills a relationship faster than listing dozens of reasons why you don’t like a person. Instead, both of you need to list your number one pet peeve and focus your energy on solving that first.
5. Consider the positives. Before you decide that life would be better with a roommate exactly like you, think of what you could gain by living with your opposite. We’re often attracted
1. Talk. If something’s bugging you, bring it up in a non-defensive way rather than assume your roommate can read your mind. Nothing can change unless you acknowledge it. It’s possible that your roommate may not even be aware of the problem.
2. Focus on behavior, not personality. It’s not reasonable to ask people to change who they are, but you can ask them to tone down how they express themselves, especially when it’s invading your turf. So, you can’t criticize someone for being "perky," but you can ask for someone not to talk so much while you’re studying.
3. Stay flexible. It’s not your job to fix anybody else, and it helps to recognize that no one is perfect. Be willing to look at your own behavior. Consider what you could do differently to help the situation instead of only blaming your roommate.
4. Start with one pet peeve. What can you absolutely not deal with? What do you find extremely irritating, but could live with if you had to? There are probably tons of things your roommate does that get on your nerves. But nothing kills a relationship faster than listing dozens of reasons why you don’t like a person. Instead, both of you need to list your number one pet peeve and focus your energy on solving that first.
5. Consider the positives. Before you decide that life would be better with a roommate exactly like you, think of what you could gain by living with your opposite. We’re often attracted