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Introvert and extrovert

By hayleigh2199 Sep 22, 2014 2243 Words
Exploring How an Introverts Ways of Communication From an Extrovert
I chose Deana, a friend who I would not have an issue describing her as an introvert. I would describe an introverted individual as one who mainly concerned with his or her own thoughts or feelings. Therefore, when I knew we had to pick someone that was our complete opposite I could not think of anyone better to interview than Deana was because we are different. I am very extroverted which most people think I am assertive, a socializer, friendly, and. confident, but an introvert; such as Deana is considered to be humble, reserved, timid, shy, bashful, quiet, and modest. When someone compares those two examples, they are on different ends of the spectrum.

I met Deana when I first went work Food Lion for a brief time. She was the Assistant Customer Service Manager, but I had a hard time understanding why because here I was the extrovert, the talkative energetic, inquisitive, and always had an opinion. However, we were like oil and water because she was so quiet, shy, timid, but when I did something wrong she might have been quiet, but she would politely tell me.

As the weeks passed by nothing had changed, Deana was still the same girl who was always looking for a place of solitude, a space of her own to work in with hopes that no one would be watching her, or want to talk to her about anything. However, I knew that day was going to come where I was going to need her, and it finally did I needed help with a customer. I was scared to death to call her because I knew how introverted she was I did not want to upset her, but I had no choice. She politely came over and immediately connected with the customer I was in shock. She connected better with her than I did; due to the fact, that I talked excessively, but Deana said just enough to set an example for me, but also handle the customer effectively. I believe that she is an introvert she was able to handle the situation because most introverts are not interested in caring on a meaningless conversation, but they want to cover the topic to the best of their ability and take care of the issues as quick as possible. That was the day I realized how much of a difference there was in our personalities, but I had also figured out why she was Assistant Customer Service Manager. Deana and I deal with differences in personalities very well, and we have become wonderful friends despite those differences. We have learned to do things that are not typically associated with our personalities, we try different thing even though they do not come as natural as we would for them to. The main thing we have accomplished and which I think was the biggest hurdle we found some common ground. Since we are so different, we have learned to personalize our experiences. I thought when I first read the assignment it was going to be simple but in reality, it was not the simple as I originally thought. The simple part was that my best friend and I personalities were so different that there was no question as to who or what I would be writing about.

Communication Question for Deana
1. What do you consider your communication strength?
“My communication strengths are being polite, and friendly to everybody I meet: for example, what I am going through a line at the grocery store greeting the cashier and simply saying thank you.” 2. What do you consider your communication weakness?

“I would consider my biggest weakness is not being as outgoing to people I know. I am always shy and kind of closed off until I get to know them better.” 3. Who is your communication role model? (This is someone that you wish to emulate when it comes to his/her communication skills.) “My communication role model is Mario Lopez. With him being a talk show host, he makes it seem like talking to everyone and anyone so easy. He always looks comfortable having conversations with people.” 4. What is your communication pet peeve?

“My pet peeve is when I am talking to someone and they are doing something else. They act as if they are listening to you but they are not” 5. What medium of communication works best for you? (Be prepared to define the word medium!) The meaning of medium is how we communicated. The medium for this interview is face to face. “I would say the medium of communication that best works for me is I like going out to eating in a comfortable environment and face to face. If I do not know the person well I would find it more comfortable to go out with a group of friends.” 6. What kind of noise distracts you the most when you are trying to have a conversation? “The noise that distracts me the most is loud music because it is like screaming at the other person and more than likely you still will not be able to hear each other. Loud music is very distracting too!” 7. What is a common communication problem that you face?

“The most common communication problem that I face is meeting new people and being able to open up to them because it usually takes me a while to be comfortable opening up to people.” 8. How would you define your personality?

“I am shy when I do not know you, but a friendly and caring person once I do get to know you and that is when I will open up more. “ 9. Are your personality features consistent or do the change according to the situation? “My personality features usually are consistent unless I meet a rude person then of course they would change I am not going to be so nice.” 10. When you are working, do you feel uncomfortable, and have a hard time concentrating if someone is watching you? “Yes, I do have a hard time working if someone is watching me. Sometimes our supervisor will come up and watch us do our work that makes me nervous because I do not want to do something wrong.” 11. Do you see yourself as being self-sufficient to where you do not need as frequent contact with others? “Yes, I see myself as self-sufficient I try to do things on my own and if I can't then I ask for help.” 12. How hard is it for you to start up and carry on a conversation with a complete stranger? ‘It is very hard for me to start up a conversation with a complete stranger I just do not know what to say. I am a shy person when I do not know someone. I do not know how to start a conversation with so round that I do not know east to talk about with.” 13. Do you like to follow other people suggestions, or prefer to find your own solutions to problems? “In some situations, I take other peoples advice that has more knowledge of the situation but mainly I like to figure it out myself. I am very hard headed I would rather figure it out myself. 14. Do you enjoy saying money instead of spending unnecessarily? “I like to save money for important things I might need but lately I have been spending the money on things that I enjoy. I say you only live once and I have been trying to enjoy stuff that makes me happy.” 15. Do you think people are trustworthy and good?

“In my opinion a lot of people are not trustworthy and good, a lot of people are out for themselves. I keep my circle small and there are not a lot of good people in this world anymore.” 16. Do you always think things over before you act?

 “I am a thinker I actually over think situations which tend to make them worse than they actually are. I am an over thinker!” 17. Are you a big risk taker?
“I am not a big risk taker; I am usually scared of taking big risk because I don't ever want to regret things in my life, but I think if you don't take risk you will never know the outcome.” 18. Does it take you longer than others to reach a decision if so why? “Sometimes it does take me awhile to make a decision because I want to make sure it is the right decision.” 19. Do you go out of your way to keep from talking about yourself? “Sometimes I will try to change the subject from talking about myself because I'm not the kind of person that's likes talking about their selves.” 20. Do you find yourself second-guessing your decisions?

“Yes, I do second guess my decisions if they don't turn out like I hoped it would be, but I also believe everything happens for a reason. Sometimes you cannot help but wonder if some decisions you made are the right ones.

Once the interview was over with Deana, I took a few days to reflect on the questions and her answers. I am glad that I had the opportunity to learn things about a good friend that I would have thought were different. I believe after my interview with Deana that more that introverts are misinterpreted and that does included Deana. I realized that extending the gap between the introvert-extrovert friendship gaps requires a slight more consideration on both sides. Therefore, here out of all twenty question she answered the three most important things I should keep in mind about Deana would be her need for privacy does not have anything to do with me it is independent way her thoughts, feelings, and brain works. I learned she is a lot more fun to be with when we she has sufficient time alone. I realized that if she is pushed past her regular ability for communication, she is often inclined to get irritable. One of the things that did not surprise me that her idea of fun is different from mine, that is why she has the potential to decline an invitation where more people invited her would prefer an invitation to a quiet dinner instead.

On the other hand, Deana should realize that she does have extroverted friends and they think differently, but area and able to except some change, so she can enjoy her life with her extroverted friends like myself. I only want her to be able to enjoy life as much as I do, and I know that what I may be doing maybe somewhat annoying, but whatever it may, be I am doing it out of love for her. She needs to be more open, be able express, and explain her needs to me. Then I can stop guessing and can help her because I get it wrong a lot of the time because I am not a mind reader. I believe she thinks that most extrovert can only be the life of the party, but does not realize I enjoy my own quiet to, and by doing this, it would give us the talent to take the advantage and ask if I would like to get together for some of her introverted fun.

Like other relationships, an introvert-extrovert friendship requires communication and cooperation. This needs introverts: such, as Deana needs to speak up and extroverts: such as myself to stop and listen more. We can all agree on one thing that there is no right or wrong answer as to who is the better friend, or how truly opposite the extrovert or the introvert. There is no information, readings, indicators, solid evidence of one or the other. I would say, for example, that I am famous for throwing opening my home and having friends over at every moment. However, that is not really, how I live my life, though I would agree that I am known, and are more comfortable having parties than Deana, but that does not make me better friend, in my opinion. It would mean I am unbiased when it comes to being more comfortable around others because I do not have to be the center of attention. I have been in many situations where being an extrovert I was not very comfortable giving of myself. However, I am saying that after interview Deana I have not seen where being introverted or extroverted has anything at all to do with how nice or opposite we are but how a person treats you as a friend it only means some friends are more comfortable with certain friends. Again, that is only my observation after my interview with Deana, so no rock hard understanding or information can confirm these findings. This is only an observation. I learned a great deal about Deana where I use to think I knew everything about her, and how were different. However, after the interview we still have different personalities, as does everyone, but there are not as many differences as I thought when I began the paper. I still consider myself an extrovert maybe not to the extreme as some, but she is still introverted, but my perception of how much has changed.

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