January 17, 2013
What are the ingredients that make for a happy marriage? What are the fundamental differences that separate happily and unhappily married couples?
The Bible states in Colossians 3:18-19, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” (ESV).
Though there are many ingredients that make for a happy marriage, I will only speak of two, and that is communication and love.
No, I am not yet married, but I have been studying marriages for years. I have seen the happy and unhappy marriages. Yes, I know, every marriage is not the same, but some of the same things, causes married couples to be unhappy and end in divorce. It is sad that, “as many as 40 to 50 percent of today’s marriages end in the brokenness of divorce” (Clinton & Sibcy, 2006, p. 6). One of the ingredients that make a happy marriage is communication. Communication can make or break any relationship, especially a marriage. See, “we all desire relationships that allow us to talk openly and honestly about our feelings, even negative ones. Not being able to talk through our feelings with ones we love and care about intensifies the pain we feel” (Clinton & Sibcy, 2006, p. 40-41). Everyone continues to change as they get older, so continue to get to know your spouse everyday.
Love is most likely, the main ingredient in a happy marriage. I know that love is supposed to automatically be in the marriage, but it is not always there. For an example, some people get married for the wrong reasons, like for stability, freedom from parents, to fulfill sexual desires, to prove something to themselves, due to pregnancy, and etc. An older couple came to me and the husband told me that they have been married for 23 years, and he is just now learning how to love his wife. He said that he did not love her in the beginning, but because she was having his son, he had to marry her.