Incorporating Feedback

Topics: Nutrition, Writing, Essay Pages: 3 (609 words) Published: January 8, 2010
Resources: Revising, Peer Reviewing, and Proofreading and Constructive Feedback Turorial. Read Ch. 5, Finalization for Writing in the University of Phoenix Essay Guidelines.

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Address the following: What feedback did you receive from your instructor? From the peer reviewer? From the Center for Writing Excellence? Explain how you will incorporate the feedback into your paper. How does this feedback improve your expository essay? What feedback did you choose not to include? Explain your answers.

My essay is on: Fast foods can lead to obesity.

Here's my feedback from my peer.

Peer Review of Your Essay
Posted: Thu 01/07/2010 08:02 AM , by: Cheryl D. Slusher ( ) Previous | Next
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Axia College Material

Appendix G

Peer Review Checklist*

What is the main point of this essay?
I think the main point of this essay is that obesity is a major problem in the US and that eating healthy and exercise is a way to combat the issue.

What is the greatest strength of this essay?
The detailed facts, examples and the definitions are what I found to be strong in this essay. Defining carbs, proteins, and vitamins as they are in the food we eat is essential for this type of essay I think.

Does the introduction grab your interest and make you want to read on? Explain your answer. I was not grabbed by the introduction. It read informal I think. I came to it and it was labeled and then two bulleted statements. I was left with a want for the author to have given me some form of personal insight on the subject.

What material does not seem to fit the main point of the essay or does not seem to be appropriate for...
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