In Sex Lies and Conversation

“In Sex Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other by Deborah Tannen” argues that the problems of men and women in marriage often stem from the fact that they misunderstand what the other person is trying to say. As men, we often like to listen while we are preoccupied with something else. While women talk to maintain intimacy. Whether conscious or unconscious, men often talk to establish status from others. Women use words to connect themselves emotionally, to express feelings.
In Deborah essay, she tries to persuade us that lack of communication between husband and wife, often leads to divorce and misperception in the relationship. Deborah gives an example of a man and women how the man states that the woman is the talker of the relationship. “The man quickly concurred. He gestured towards his wife and said,’ She’s the talker in our family.”… This shows that men are typically more talkative in public, while women tend to talk more privately. This conclusion is obvious when male and female communication is understood. If men talk to establish status, most male conversation would inevitably occur in public, at the workplace. On the other hand, if women talk to establish intimacy, most female conversation would take place in private, at home. Body language is another misperception in the relationship

She then begins to tell us that most women that get a divorce list communication as one if the main issues in the marriage.