Importance of Conflict
Growing Through Conflict
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Most of us don't like conflict. We usually find it perplexing, stressful and possible.
Yet I believe that conflict is not just inevitable but also indispensable -- a uniquely valuable component of our personal and organizational lives. Without it, we lose our ability to hear new ideas and work together toward creative solutions.
After having spent time with many different churches and church groups on conflict resolution, I have come to some conclusions which might surprise you:
The problem is not the problem.
I am the source of most conflict I experience.
Without conflict, no change or growth ever occurs.
But if conflict is necessary for individual and organizational development, we must learn how to use it effectively instead of avoiding it.
In the following reflection, I share some of what I have learned about turning destructive conflict into a constructive experience for change and growth.
Without conflict, no change or growth ever occurs
We all know the symptoms of conflict in the church, even if we would rather pretend it doesn't exist. There is internal division, an "us" versus "them" mentality, with increased but often unfocused feelings of anxiety, anger, mistrust, and fear. This results in long unproductive meetings, accusations and decisions made in secret, gradually decreasing attendance, loss of income and even membership. Nobody likes being in the midst of conflict. But church conflict seems especially difficult.
We shouldn't be surprised, however. Conflict is sharpest where bonds are strong and encompass the whole person. This is keenly evident in the church with its standard of commitment to a life's belief system. What makes matters worse is that the church as a closely-knit group tends to suppress conflict, rather than dealing with it head-on. This may keep the peace, but only on the surface and only temporarily. It's like a delayed fuse on a bomb. The conflict
________________________________________
Most of us don't like conflict. We usually find it perplexing, stressful and possible.
Yet I believe that conflict is not just inevitable but also indispensable -- a uniquely valuable component of our personal and organizational lives. Without it, we lose our ability to hear new ideas and work together toward creative solutions.
After having spent time with many different churches and church groups on conflict resolution, I have come to some conclusions which might surprise you:
The problem is not the problem.
I am the source of most conflict I experience.
Without conflict, no change or growth ever occurs.
But if conflict is necessary for individual and organizational development, we must learn how to use it effectively instead of avoiding it.
In the following reflection, I share some of what I have learned about turning destructive conflict into a constructive experience for change and growth.
Without conflict, no change or growth ever occurs
We all know the symptoms of conflict in the church, even if we would rather pretend it doesn't exist. There is internal division, an "us" versus "them" mentality, with increased but often unfocused feelings of anxiety, anger, mistrust, and fear. This results in long unproductive meetings, accusations and decisions made in secret, gradually decreasing attendance, loss of income and even membership. Nobody likes being in the midst of conflict. But church conflict seems especially difficult.
We shouldn't be surprised, however. Conflict is sharpest where bonds are strong and encompass the whole person. This is keenly evident in the church with its standard of commitment to a life's belief system. What makes matters worse is that the church as a closely-knit group tends to suppress conflict, rather than dealing with it head-on. This may keep the peace, but only on the surface and only temporarily. It's like a delayed fuse on a bomb. The conflict