If I had a robot …

Topics: IRobot, Domestic robot, Roomba Pages: 2 (469 words) Published: December 3, 2013
So, if you had a robot, what would you want it to do for you? I’m sure you were just thinking about that very same question. If you are now asking yourself “How does this have anything to do with parenting?” let me ease your mind by blowing some smoke up your … um, we parents are real busy people. The kind of people who need robots to do stuff for us.

She doesn't do windows ...
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She doesn’t do windows …

Actually, this reverie came out of three things. 1. My post on Mother’s Day gifts led to the revelation by tinkleflick that in addition to the Roomba (the vacuuming robot) there is a Scooba. I need one. 2. My family just went to the severely overcrowded Makers Faire recently, so we are seriously geeked out on robots right now. (By the way, we came close to touching the brim of Adam’s hat. You know, Adam Savage from “Mythbusters.” For geeks I believe that is close to a religious experience, right up there with getting to second base with someone who looks a lot like Princess Leia.) And 3. I always think about things like this, generally around the time when I have a looming deadline. For years I’ve pondered, “What would I do on the Holodeck?” but trust me, it gets way too raunchy for a family blog. But really, wouldn’t you just stay on the Holodeck forever? Good god, somebody get the geek tranquilizers before I start telling you more about my Rock Band exploits.

Anyhow, I made some ground rules because that’s how I am. You get to pick five things the robot can do. You can have the robot do one kind of chore, but you can’t say “a robot that does all the housework” because that’s like wishing for more wishes and it gets dull. Your robot can only do things people can do, so no robots making you invisible or what-have-you. And yes, many of us would naturally be getting, um, regular servicing, if you will, from the robot. So let’s just concede that it goes without saying, and really, you don’t need to say it. Cuddling, however, is still...
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