Humorous Wedding Speech By Sir Mills Barrington

Well good evening. Allow me to briefly introduce myself. Address me as Sir Mills Barrington, born 18th of April 1623 in London, England. I like to consider myself a man of importance, sophistication, wealth and knowledge, with a strong belief in God almighty. However, I have a little story to tell, a story that many find hard to believe. I tell you fellows, knowledge can only take you so far. For what I experienced exactly 10 years ago, my intellect would be of no assistance. For the abnormal, the paranormal and the haunted...seal your doom. I have seen many things. Things that no other being should witness. For the death of many people I tell you, were gruesome and twisted, truly from the darkest side of Hell.
November 20, 1652. Life was indeed ordinary. I was due for a journey from London to Oxford, for business purposes. It is a tiring 5 hour journey by horse and carriage, however, I thought nothing of it. ‘Twas close to my departure for my journey, and I was ensuring that I had everything necessary for my business in Oxford. With all sorted, I climbed into the carriage.
‘Twas 3
I awoke remaining in the same position where I fell to my darkness, the full moon was high indicating midnight. I sat up in a flash, however the carriage had gone, and there was no trace of the gory mess that used to paint the white of the earth. I was truly confused. However my confusion quickly turned into a stomach tearing fear, evil demonic hands is what I last saw in front of my eyes before the giant claws wrapped around my face and dragged me away. This evil being...Was much stronger than man. I was thrown into a place of darkness, a cave of some sort treated like a dungeon. Other living beings that were emaciated and bleeding with fear draining the blood from their faces were trapped, just like me, in this darkness with the lingering stench of death and human waste, and the horrifying wail and cry of the fearful beings that were literally losing their