Have you ever in love with someone? If yes, didn’t you break up? As we know, no meeting without separation and No separation without hurt. For the long time, say goodbye to lover is not easy at all, but nothing is impossible. We can keep the silent love but we should not keep the saying goodbye when love disappeared. If the relationship makes both of them feel tired, we should end it. At least we can do something for the one we loved. Someone said that “giving up doesn’t mean weakness, it sometime means we have enough strong for leaving”. We have many ways to say goodbye and today we will give you some advises for your separation.The way to say goodbye that less hurt to ex. When the couple’s relationship cannot develop or even trend to be worse, saying goodbye is only way to solve problem. U can be shy when express your love, but u can not hesitate when say in goodbye., If u don’t want to continue this relationship any more, you have to say goodbye, but sometime saying goodbye in wrong way will make your relationship worse so that the question how to say goodbye without hurting your lover is common question that couple have to meet.
We divide our presentation into 4 parts:
* Firstly, we talk about saying goodbye in indirectly way * Secondly, we mention about saying goodbye in directly way * thirdly, The attitude when say goodbye
* and lastly, The “delete time”, the few days after you call your lover is ex. * And now, Le Thao will start our presentation with first part- saying goodbye in indirect way. II. Body
1. Goodbye in indirect way
As u knows, nowadays there are many ways to communicate and contact with other people indirectly, such as phone, email, letters… and there are many people choosing this way to say goodbye with sweetheart because it is easier than direct way. Now, let’s start with 2 common way to say good bye indirectly. First, most of people choose this way to say goodbye. they say goodbye by a messages, emails, letters or even a call. So what do u feel if u receive a message with content “it’s time for us to separate”? Obviously phone or email boxs have an important role to maintain love, but it should not be used for stopping a relationship. Because love cannot finish by a short sentence like that. Moreover, some people find a friend or neighbor help them to say good-bye with their lover, so how can it affect them? They can feel surprised and disappointed. Because it means the lover do not respect them. So if we decide to separate, our lover should be knew that first. Now, turning to the next indirect way to say goodbye. This is the disappearance. More than 40 % people choose to keep silence when separating with their lover. They avoid meeting and ignore their sweetheart. It means they want to stop their relationship without any explanation. So why are they do that? The answer is that they coward and they do not want to face with their half, and they think that their lover can understand. However, this way too heartless and easy to hurt their lover’s heart. Because they will very worry if their sweetheart disappeared it become revenge. Therefore, do not keep silence. That are something I want to share with u about indirect way to say goodbye with sweetheart. So we should not choose this way, right? Next, thao will continue with the second part: saying goodbye in direct way. 2. Goodbye in directly way
As mentioned above, there are 2 ways to say goodbye with lover. Now, I will talk about how to say goodbye with lover in direct way. The truth is that saying goodbye is really hard for both the speaker and the listener, we can see that people often choose easy way if they feel it is difficult to say directly (as my friend mentioned above), but it is so hard- hearted.. Therefore, the best way in this case is having a talk face to face. Although you and your love are living far away each other about hundreds of mile, u also respect him by asking him to come or coming to him and have a talk in direct way. He may be surprise or even be shock when listening the goodbye, but it is still better than just sending message or calls with content goodbye. This is the benefit of solve problem in direct way. Moreover, as we know, breakup is something that both u and him don’t want and it is sure that this will make both feel boring and sad, so choosing the time to say goodbye is also very important. I will give u some specific advices: * Don’t saying goodbye at a party, on a crowded bus or in public place because u can not destroy her happyness by saying goodbye suddently, in addition, if the lover is too hurt the lover especially the girl will cry and it will attract the others’ attention. Because there are too many people u can not have private space to talk to him or her so u can not convey everything u want to say and may be lead to misunderstanding. * it is not fair when inviting him to go out at weekend and then stop relationship by saying that it is the last meeting we have. This saying is so cruel because it is similar to the picture of the last favor meal of prisoner. * And the more important thing is that don’t choose your first meeting place to say goodbye, when u decide to stop, there are nothing to say anymore, reminding the part memories just make yourself more hurt. And now, what I want u to do is that choosing the time when there are only you and your lover in quite place, in café (for example) so that both of u have chance to look back the beautiful period that u are together and after that saying goodbye in peace. In spite of not being a half of each other, talk about the truth is what u should do to keep good impression before breaking. Finally, saying goodbye is really not simple because u may have to see tears in your lover’s eyes, u also know that u will not feel comfortable when doing this difficult decision because u can make him or her hurt but it is compulsory for u to say goodbye face to face. 3. How to say goodbye:
Firstly, you must sure that u are ready to say goodbye to your lover. think carefully before u decide to saying goodbye. Analyzing the reasons why you want to break up is very important. If your love is really over, let’s say goodbye. don’t say goodbye because stupid reasons or you just feel sad because he or she didn’t care for you enough. Saying goodbye is not a joke and you might not take back your love if you decide so quickly. It’s obvious that saying goodbye is not as simple as saying a sentence. Therefore, you must know how to say goodbye without hurting your lover. There are 3 explanations for this: Firstly, show a clear and definitive attitude when saying goodbye. You should tell her or him what you really think and reasons why you want to say goodbye. so they can understand. You shouldn’t beat around the bush, listener can recognize this easily. for instance, you say :”you are the best girl I have ever met, but….”and then you say goodbye. She will think that you are a liar, if she is wonderful so why you say her goodbye. just go straight to the main point by saying that: “I think we should stop here” or “I don’t want to be your boyfriend or girlfriend anymore” and then tell them reason. It seem so cold-heart but it is the good way when saying goodbye. Secondly, don’t criticize, blame for each other and make your meeting become an accusation when tell them reasons. You and your lover can have a deep love and have shared many things, but it doesn’t mean that you can say anything you want or take his or her weakness to say goodbye. Those things can cause arguments and make your relationship worse after breaking up. Thirdly, don’t make comparison between your lover and your ex-girlfriend or girls around you. This can hurt the listener a lot, more than your saying goodbye. Lastly, don’t say that: we can love again afterward. Don’t say anything in the future because we can not know what can happen. When you say goodbye and really want to end this relationship, you should show that it’s really over. Don’t give your lover hope to come back. It can make them more disappointed and hardly to overcome. ATER BREAKING UP:
Saying goodbye sweetheart may be a terrible shock that we have in our life. How to overcome that “disaster” and go on our normal life? In our group’s opinion, there are four typical effective actions that may help us feel better. Firstly, we should avoid meeting, calling or contacting with him or her as less as possible because we can control our emotions and feeling. We can be acquainted that we are single and may forget him or her easier. Next, we should not go to place where we used to go and have many memories together because it will make us miss him or her so much. Even though, it will hurt us if we see him or her with another person there. It is really hurt and bored. Moreover, remembering that he or she is not our only choice, so, try to take care of ourselves better. Let give us time to refresh our soul and treat our injured heart. We should make ourselves busier and do not have many time to think about him or her. Finally, it will be better if we do not defamatory our ex sweetheart, do not say too much about his or her mistakes in the past. That may make us feel more annoyed. Although saying goodbye, we ought to try to keep a good image about him or her in your mind. We can become friend instead of becoming enemy of each other. In fact, our soul and heart may be hurt so much, we may cry so much. However, we should think in a positive dimension that it is a challenge that we have to overcome to get mature. It is not the end, it just be the beginning.
In conclusion, there are two main ways to say goodbye. One way is saying indirectly through messages, phone and so on. Other way is saying directly. This way is considered to be difficult but effective. Besides that, the way saying goodbye is also influenced by other factors such as the situation when saying goodbye, the attitude of opponent and so on. Anyway, although the love is broken, we should say goodbye softly and avoid hurting opponent. We should not make our lover think he or she is not respected or think we betray them. That may hurt seriously to his or her feeling. Besides that, the way we say goodbye also affects to our feeling and emotion in the future. This may makes we feel tied or pessimistic. As the result, when there is another person wanting to become our lover, we may hesitate and lose a chance to have true happiness. So the most importance is that we should not think we have failed in love. Should not think and feel wretched a lots. Let’s overcome that challenge, believe in ourselves and continue to find our true happiness. Because may be the person whom we want to say goodbye does not make we feel happy, but there will be another person who will bring us happiness. May be, through that failing, we will have more experiences and be more mature. Thanks to that, we will easy to find a person who is fit with us. : You may be afraid when you tell about your love to somebody but you should strong to say goodbye. I hope after our presentation, all of you can choose the best way to say “goodbye my love”. Good luck to you!!