His Needs Her Needs Book Review
A CRITIQUE OF HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS
Harley, Williard. His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage. Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 2011. ISBN: 9780800719388. Reviewed by Donald W. Clark.
Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D., is a psychologist and marriage counselor. He has written many books, helping couples work through conflict and restore and strengthen their commitment and love for each other. He has been married to his wife Joyce for over thirty years and they have two children, both are marriage counselors.
Intended Audience
The intended audience of this book is those that are involved in church leadership, specifically pastors. While the main audience is pastors, all churches have some support staff, leadership groups, etc. and …show more content…
The book primarily focused upon the issue of infidelity being the main culprit in the destruction of today’s marriages, even though there are a number of issues that plague today’s marriages including financial issues, lifestyle expectations and communication issues. This book mainly provides readers with good casual observations and illustrations but not any credible statistical support that would help couples heal and maintain a healthy, Godly marriage. There is also a lack of scriptural reference to help married couples survive and thrive in today’s liberal society. Harley tries to establish a standard of conduct that is right for married couples to follow, but he fails because he does not provide a solution for defeating the sinful desires of the flesh. Harley doesn’t even mention sin in the entire book! He intimates that these desires of the flesh are natural and that it is instinctive for man to try and satisfy them. He says in the book that “any marriage can have the sizzle of an affair if it has that strong one-spirit bond.” This is FALSE! Affairs often begin because the perpetrators are trying to satisfy the flesh. In the book of Hebrews the writer gives advice about keeping and guarding our marriages and although it was written many years ago, it is spot on within the context of the sexually driven society that we live in today. (Heb. 13:4-7. ESV). Much of the sizzle of an affair comes from satisfying the flesh and sinful desires that dwells within man. Harley does offer some secular solutions to sinful behavior, but he never proposes that Jesus Christ is our deliverer from the power of sin that affects us
Harley, Williard. His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage. Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 2011. ISBN: 9780800719388. Reviewed by Donald W. Clark.
Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D., is a psychologist and marriage counselor. He has written many books, helping couples work through conflict and restore and strengthen their commitment and love for each other. He has been married to his wife Joyce for over thirty years and they have two children, both are marriage counselors.
Intended Audience
The intended audience of this book is those that are involved in church leadership, specifically pastors. While the main audience is pastors, all churches have some support staff, leadership groups, etc. and …show more content…
The book primarily focused upon the issue of infidelity being the main culprit in the destruction of today’s marriages, even though there are a number of issues that plague today’s marriages including financial issues, lifestyle expectations and communication issues. This book mainly provides readers with good casual observations and illustrations but not any credible statistical support that would help couples heal and maintain a healthy, Godly marriage. There is also a lack of scriptural reference to help married couples survive and thrive in today’s liberal society. Harley tries to establish a standard of conduct that is right for married couples to follow, but he fails because he does not provide a solution for defeating the sinful desires of the flesh. Harley doesn’t even mention sin in the entire book! He intimates that these desires of the flesh are natural and that it is instinctive for man to try and satisfy them. He says in the book that “any marriage can have the sizzle of an affair if it has that strong one-spirit bond.” This is FALSE! Affairs often begin because the perpetrators are trying to satisfy the flesh. In the book of Hebrews the writer gives advice about keeping and guarding our marriages and although it was written many years ago, it is spot on within the context of the sexually driven society that we live in today. (Heb. 13:4-7. ESV). Much of the sizzle of an affair comes from satisfying the flesh and sinful desires that dwells within man. Harley does offer some secular solutions to sinful behavior, but he never proposes that Jesus Christ is our deliverer from the power of sin that affects us