Hey Kid Monologue

Hey Kid
If you are reading this, it means that I am dead. I am sorry it had to be like this, but there was no other way. I know that you will be shocked, but please, do not judge me for this. The reason I am doing this is that I cannot live with all this guilt anymore. Not after having learned pretty much everything that the poor people in the concentration camps suffered at the hands of the Nazis. My hands are forever stained. Not even decades of time in prison can wash the blood of the innocent away, nor silence the screams of the women in the church. I have heard them every night in my dreams. They won’t leave me alone, no matter what I do. That’s why I have chosen to end it all. I do not think that I should be released after all that I
I knew that our relationship when you were just a boy was very, very immoral and wrong. But I was selfish. I saw something in you, in those young eyes of yours, that made me want you more and more, and soon, I was in love with you. And I knew that you were deeply in love with me. I knew that our relationship could never be like relationships of others, people who are more or less the same age. We were of two very different generations, you and me. I belonged to the silent ones, who in fear did not know how to resist the horrible, bad things that the Nazis did. It was only natural, we did not know that it was wrong. But you, on the other hand, belong to the generation that came after us. The generation which questioned the previous generation, and showed it the error of its ways. I am grateful for that. I always knew that you were are smart kid, even though you missed a lot of lessons because of me. But the fact that we were doomed to be apart made me horribly sad. There was and still is a great gap between us, between my generation and yours. I tried to ignore it, but deep inside I always knew we weren’t going to last. And because I was selfish, and weak, I did not even have the decency to say goodbye to you. That time at the pool, you remember? I wanted to embrace you and tell you everything, but my legs would not move and my tongue felt as if it was frozen in place. So I just left. I know that it must