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Topic: Psychological Effects Of Divorce on the Members of the Family

Thesis Statement: According to research, 25% of children of divorce has serious behavioral, emotional, and psychological effects due to their parents’ mistakes, decisions, and misguided marriage; therefore, parents should reconsider filing a divorce and the divorce files should be examined thoroughly to protect children’s sanity.

II. Body

A. Types of Divorce
1. Uncontested Divorce
This kind of divorce takes place when both spouses reach a mutual agreement to end their marriage. Both husband and wife are able to come to an agreement regarding property division, child support, spousal support and any other financial issues. Uncontested divorces are simple and quick and there is no need for attorneys or court hearings. In situations where there are children involved or the division of marital property it is wise to seek the advice of a divorce attorney before signing any final legal documents. Also, if there is the issue of child support a child support order will have to be signed by a judge.

2. Default Divorce
A default divorce occurs when one spouse files for a divorce and the other spouse fails to respond to the filing. If the other spouse does not object or otherwise respond to the proceeding, the filing spouse may be granted a default divorce. In most places, judges require filers to prove that the other spouse actually received notification of the divorce proceedings, however.

3. Fault Divorce
A fault divorce is the dissolution of a valid marriage, where one of the spouses is guilty of marital misconduct. A fault divorce is usually chosen by a spouse who wishes to be vindicated by proving the other's fault. This type of divorce could be based on any of the following: cruelty, adultery, desertion for a specified length of time, confinement in prison, alcohol and drug abuse, insanity, physical inability to have sexual intercourse, and infecting the other spouse with a sexually transmitted disease.

4. No-Fault Divorce
This is a kind of divorce in which neither spouse is required to prove "fault" or marital misconduct on the part of the other. To obtain a divorce a spouse must merely assert incompatibility or irreconcilable differences, meaning the marriage has irretrievably broken down. This means there is no defense to a divorce petition there is no derogatory testimony, and marital misconduct cannot be used to achieve a division of property favorable to the "innocent" spouse.

5. Contested Divorce
A contested divorce is one in which the parties cannot agree, either about getting divorced or about the terms of the divorce, such as the division of assets, allocation of debts, alimony, child support, or the custody of children. Before going to a court trial, the spouses should go through information exchanges, hearings and settlement negotiations. In such situations, the litigation process takes longer to conclude. When spouses can’t agree they go before the court and the court will make the final decision on all issues they were not able to negotiate.

6. Summary Divorce
This type of divorce procedure is available to couples who have not been married for a long time, don’t have children, and have very few marital assets. This kind of divorce is easier to obtain compared to other forms of divorce due to the fact that this involves a lot less paperwork and are granted very quickly, normally within 30 days of filing.
7. Collaborative Divorce
Collaborative divorce involves working with lawyers, but in a different way from the usual expectation. Both spouses each hire lawyers who are trained to work cooperatively and who agree to try to settle their case. Each of them has a lawyer who is on their side, but much of the work is done in cooperation. Each of them agrees to disclose all the information that’s necessary for fair negotiations, and to meet with each other and both lawyers to discuss settlement.

8. Arbitration

In divorce arbitration, both spouses agree to hire a family arbitrator. Like a judge in court, a family arbitrator ensures relevant facts and pieces of evidence are collected in order to make a decision based on this evidence. The arbitrator will also consider the views of both parties on what the outcome should be. The arbitrator’s final decision is a binding ruling. Family arbitration is an alternative to court proceedings and is a way of sorting out financial disputes.

B. Short-Term Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children
1. Anger
Sometimes children feel angry with their parents after divorce. However it seems that they are more irate with the certain parent who initiated the divorce. Although their anger may not be openly directed at their parents, these children may have intense fights or conflicts between friends or siblings. They may also show their oppositional behavior towards authority figures at home, school, or both.
2. Frustration

3. Depression
During divorce, children tend to become anxious, stressed, and scared. These eventually may cause depression in them. A certain amount of sadness that children experience during divorce is normal; however, extreme and continuing sadness that is coupled with helplessness is not. This may be a sign of depression. Unfortunately, statistics prove that divorce is one of the leading causes of depression in children and teens.

4. Guilt
Most of the time children feel guilty when their parents file for a divorce is because they feel that they are the reason for the divorce. They personalize their part in the divorce because they know they misbehaved, and they feel that they're somehow being punished for it by the breakup of their parents. Other than that, children also blame their misbehaviors and mistakes, after all, during their early learning years most of their unpleasant experiences were their fault. So it is natural to blame themselves for the turmoil in the family. For many children it is very difficult to change their feeling of guilt because it has become their default position when problems occur in their family. It is difficult for the child to blame their parents because the parent is their source of correct behavior.

5. Perceived Parental Loss or the Feeling of Neglect
When parents divorce, the non-custodial parent, usually the father, also ‘divorce’ their children in a way. That certain parent will have to live in a different home than their children/child and former spouse. This turn of events may cause the child to feel neglected or unloved by their non-custodial parent. Because of this, the child or children’s relationship with their parents may eventually crumble down.
6. Rebellious or Delinquent Behavior

7. Loss of Self-esteem

C. Long-Term Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children
1. Sleeper Effect
2. Oedipus Complex
3. Electra Complex
4. Promiscuity
5. Atelophobia
6. Tendency to Divorce When They are Married

D. Psychological Effects of Divorce on the Divorced Couple or Parents
1. Feeling of Betrayal
2. Anger and Frustration
3. Relief and Comfort
4. Sadness and Loneliness
5.
E. Solutions
1. Marriage Counseling
2. Marital Communication
3. Strict Court Supervision