Grieving Before a Death: Understanding Anticipatory Grief

When my Grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer, I was instantly crushed at thinking about all of the possibilities that there were for what could happen next; I could lose my Grandmother forever. After learning that the cause of my Grandmothers cancer was from smoking I told myself that I would never smoke and that I wanted to help people to stop smoking. When an individual first gets lung cancer they may start to have a persistent cough or a heavy feeling in their chest. Some of the effects of lung cancer are shortness of breath, wheezing, fatigue, and unexplained weight loss. One of the big causes of lung cancer is smoking, the more that you smoke the more likely it is that you will get lung cancer, also if you start smoking at a young age. My Grandmother and I had a very close relationship; I would always want to go to her house so that my Grandmother and I could cook together and also do arts and crafts. Whenever I would go visit my grandmother I would walk in and the smell of the fresh baked cookies was always the first thing to welcome you into her home. This was followed by the smell of fresh squeezed lemonade, when you would drink it you wouldn’t scrunch your face together because it was sour, my Grandmother had figured out the perfect recipe for lemonade. My Grandmother and I would always make lunch and dinner together, whenever I would go over she would teach me new things about the kitchen; she is the reason that I love to cook for my family whenever I get the chance. Having this close of a relationship with my Grandmother is what made it so hard for me when I found out she had cancer. I found out that my Grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer around the time of my 14th birthday; I remember I had just come back from playing basketball with some of my friends because it was summer vacation. I walked into my house and my mother and father were seated in the living room on the couch, my mother was crying on my father’s shoulder. I was so