I suffer from the phobia atychiphobia; which according to the medical dictionary, it is the fear of failing. When I get overwhelmed, I shut down completely. This is a great weakness of mine, and it’s very hard to overcome. (Trust me, I’ve tried). I severely lack motivation and a general drive to better myself. Along with this, I have high levels of anxiety and am a queen of procrastination. I’m afraid that instead of my fear pushing me to be a better person, the stress of such a fear will push me over the edge.
Is it possible to overcome my fears and weaknesses and become the shining star we all know I am? Winston Churchill once said, “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” That being said; if I wasn’t so worried about failing, would it be easier for me to cope with the stresses of being a teenager? As I look forward to graduation and my life after high school, I can’t help but fear that I won’t make it that far. The same thoughts run through my head again and again; “will you graduate?”, “will you be the kid that awkwardly sits there as everyone around them receives scholarship after scholarship?”, “will you be living in a cardboard box because you suck at life?”.
Along with that, I constantly rationalize why I should not take on difficult tasks because not doing them at all is better than trying my hardest and not succeeding. This greatly affects my work at school and in life itself. Learning from failures and gaining experience/wisdom is something I am missing out on. When I fail, I feel devastated. I don’t learn anything, I just drown my sorrows by eating an entire tub of ice cream.
Writing this paper honestly made me look within myself and come to terms with how horribly I am affected by my fears. It has also made me think about ways I can overcome my fear and finally be the girl I would like to be. To conquer my fear, I just have to take it head on.
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