Margaret Cho identifies the relation between women and men are essential, regardless of sexual orientation, men and women always need each other. Many people, especially the fag hag, hope to be able to find a gay man for lifelong friends. Straight women love men, men want to have a confidante, but not a lover to spend time with each other. “We just stayed with each other, watched John Waters’ movies late into the night…we grew up, but we didn’t grow apart” (Cho 38), Margaret has all memories with her gay friend who is thoughtful, trustful, and supportive. Men and women always need each other not just for love affair, regardless of ages, races, classes, sexual orientation, developing the relationship as friendship. Some Fag Hag, plowing their friendship, but deserted their love. There is a direct contact to understand the world of gay. Fag hag are not because of curiosity, but because that is what they cherish. I would not argue that Cho reverse the stereotypical gender norms in her On Being a Fag Hag, for most of the words she is using to describe fag hags are the words she identifies herself, “we fag hags love drama and are skilled thespians on the stage of life”, these descriptions she uses in her passages are not applying to everyone, but she uses the word “we”, she wants us to feel the inside of fag hags of what they like and how their life are.
In this article, the author Joan Nestle wrote about her mother’s life through this short article. She described her mother “was not a matriarchal goddess or a spiritual advisor”, but “clear about enjoying having sex”. Her mother’s life was tragic and little miserable. At the young age, she experienced gang rape, which brought her with a lifetime psychological and emotional impact. Her mother’s behavior falls between the extremes of difficulty relaxing during sex or desire for sex all the time. Joan Nestle’s father was dead before she was born; her mother was a widowed mother with two kids. She was lack of love from her husband, her desire for sex mostly because she is seeking love and attention for men. “I sensed the sexual order of life. I felt its pull. I wanted to be quickly and passionately involved”, Regina sensed the sexual order that is the concept for all man-woman sexual relationships, but in facts, sexual order is also about the decision making between mated partners.
Joan Nestle used “My mother liked to fuck” as the title because the title is backing up with her point. Back in the day many years ago, there has been controversy about the topic of sex drive, sexual orientation and sexual behavior. Regina’s story expressed the voice of most of the women, “Don’t scream penis at me but help to change the world so no woman feels shame or fear because she likes to fuck”, no one should feel ashamed and look down because of one’s sex need if you really enjoy sex in your life, because everyone has freedom to pursuit their own way of happiness.