Ethical Dilemmas

Hi, this my essay for a scholarship the essay prompt is the following:

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. (500 word limit) *

Can someone help me revise it grammatically or how I can answer the question better?

Thanks a bunch for correcting my other writings, I know I've been terribly annoying today with my essays.
____________________________________________________________

_______________

"Look, mi hija," said an aged woman to the little who watched me intently as I stirred chemicals in a vial. "See, you should be like that, too. I bet she's very smart." I smiled nervously at the elderly woman and said, "Muchas gracias, Señora." The woman's eyes widened proportionally as she said to me incredulously, "And she's Hispanic too!"
To say I felt completely and incandescently happy would be an understatement. The joy I felt was ineffable. I felt like I had won the Miss Universe award, just better because I was actually smart. Truth be told, that, I feel, has been my greatest achievement. I've won other awards throughout high school and I've been invited to become a member of honor societies as well, but I never felt so good about myself than when I won that science