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Equal Parenting

By tmwilliams08 Aug 31, 2010 1142 Words
Equal Parenting
Strindberg once said, “That is the thankless position of the father in the family…the provider for all, and the enemy of all” (1). Sadly, men have been held accountable for the lack of participation in their child’s life and only regarded to be important during conception. Afterwards some are considered to be a headache. It is natural for women to give birth as well as being more of a nurturer for feeding and caring for the child, which often leads people to believe that women make better parents than men. Though women are more involved with their children, I strongly believe that men can equally regard as good parents. The need for love has always been an important factor when it comes to raising children because it is built into us biologically. This need is what allows parents to forgo sleep, food and sanity while raising their children. However, they are also many ways men can bring unique strengths to their relationship with their children as a father. In reality, you can point out the contributions, and see that fathers, just like mothers, always matter. Many experts now believe that fathers can be just as nurturing and sensitive with their children as mothers. As their children grow, fathers take on added roles of guiding their children’s intellectual and social development (Parke). Even when a father is “just playing” with his child, he is nurturing their development. Biller argues that, “The quality of the father’s involvement during this period is a crucial factor in determining whether the child develops the confidence and competence to meet new challenges in a positive manner” (qtd. in Parke). Fathers stimulate emotional stability in the house from the children and the mother. This is due to the forced composure of their presence. Fathers command composure with their presence by them being a figure of authority to the kids and the voice of reason to the mother. Fathers tend to spend more time playing with their children, and the connection between the two is expressive and meaningful even if the time is limited. When men play with their children it is more of a lesson or test given to teach on life. They are providing a safe, yet challenging, arena so the child learns how to interact with the world effectively (Parke). It creates obstacles and demand respect for boundaries and limits. At the same time it encourages them to explore their own strength, and their ability to adapt to a changing environment. Some of the play between a father and his son can be seen as too rough or inappropriate to some people (mainly females). This play is not only to prepare the son for the trials of life but also to toughen him up as it is called. The play between a father and his daughter varies between slight rough play to the lessons on what will be accepted from her in the house and society. On the other hand, some would say that the women are the better parents because they are the natural nurturers. Women have the natural loving and caring personalities, but they are also emotional and impulsive. Women may have obvious advantages but they also have a few seemingly unnoticed flaws. Women cannot raise boys to be men and girls reach an age where things said by their mother have no significance. Women tend to be more lenient in the punishment of their children whereas men are regarded as the authoritative source. Also they don’t have the presence to demand the much needed respect. The rise in absentee fathers and problematic youth is no coincidence (Shek). Why do I support the opinion of men being regarded equally as good parents? For starters people label men as lazy and they are never there to support their children. However I believe this to be false in some cases. It’s a complimentary roles both parents. For those men who are good fathers to their children; little recognition is shown. As indicated above, men are more than just financial providers, they are fathers and they have a unique way of taking care of their small children. This unique style of learning then carry on as the child grows to a point in their lives where they deal with the problems associated with adolescence. They are just as nurturing and sensitive as women. Also they play an active role when it comes down to being a role model and authoritative when it comes down to disciplinary actions. Opinions are subject to change, but the best advice that can be found will always reflect the behavior of a child. A closer relationship between parent and children is of utmost importance since this provides opportunity for the child to learn more from the parent by example and also the parent gets the opportunity to shape the behavior and way of living for the child. In closing, you can see how the contributions of both parents are equal. Fathers, just like mothers, always matter.

Works Cited

Parke, Ross. “How Fathers Influence Children As They Grow”. Civitas: The Institute for the Study of Civil Society; n.d. Elizabeth House. Web. 28 March 2010. http://www.civitas.org.uk/hwu/fathers.php

Shek, Daniel T.L. “Differences Between Fathers and Mothers in the Treatment of, and Relationship with, Their Teenage Children: Perceptions of Chinese Adolescents”. BNet. 2000 Libra Publishers, Inc. 2001 Gale Group. Web. 28 March 2010. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2248/is_137_35/ai_62959086/?tag=content;col1_ Strindberg, August. “August Strindberg quotes”. ThinkExist.com Quotations. n.d.Web. 7 Apr. 2010 http://en.thinkexist.com/quotes/August_Strindberg/

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