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Emergency Room Analysis

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Emergency Room Analysis
Your essay presents your past experience in an emergency room in a manner that is exciting to read and expressive. By prefacing your narrative with a short description of what childhood scars represent to you personally, you give your essay more impact. However, your final paragraph feels a bit verbose; perhaps you could omit either the third or fourth sentence of your last paragraph, as the convey roughly the same message. Alternatively, you could add more information to your body paragraphs to aid in balancing out your essay. I admire your use of descriptive language in your narration and I can see perfectly and envious, young Sarisha vying for her parents' attention. If your memory allows, I believe you should add even more detail to your
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