Donald Winnicott: Personal Development

Introduction In this paper, I will be discussing how I see my personal development using Donald Winnicott and his object relations view of the mother and child relationship and the “good-enough parent” point-of-view and Heinz Kohut and his analysis of self-psychology and empathy. I will show through examples how I feel that I have developed as an adult through the stages that both of these theorists have discovered. The paper will conclude with a discussion as to how I feel both of these theorists have affected my life in terms of my decision to go into social work.
Donald Winnicot’s Theories Applied to Myself Donald Winnicott had a simple approach, he felt that ultimately the happiness of the human race depended not so much on external
All three of my children have ADD to some extent and through the help of a therapist, I have learned how to help them the best that I can. Often in sessions my therapist would tell me that I am expecting too much of myself. He would tell me that I need to take things one at a time and accept that I was trying my best. He then told me that all I had to do was be a “good-enough mom” not a “super-mom”, and that he felt that I definitely was doing all the things to be a good-enough mom. I took what he said to heart, and at the time, had my own mother there to confirm that I really was doing a great job. I do feel that I also have her and my father to thank for that because my parents never made me feel that I had to be perfect. They always supported me and made me feel that as long as I did the best that I could, that is what mattered. Now, after studying Donald Winnicott, I can understand where my therapist was coming from. I am a “good-enough mom” and for my children, that is exactly what they need for their future
It is easy for me to relate to both of these theorists when looking at my own life, because I believe that my parents did their best is raising me. I feel that I am an empatheic person who helps people be able to see their own strengths and faults. It has taken me a long time to be able to accept my own faults. After working as an earlychildhood educator for over eight years I realized that I wanted more out of my life, I wanted to be able to individually help other people. I took the strengths that I gained from the way that I was raised and went back to school to study social work. My hope and goal is to be able to help other people recognize and see their own faults, not as disabilities but as a means to accepting themselves and therefore boosting their self-esteem. This, I feel, can be done at any age or stage in life. I want to take the strengths that my parents gave me and give back to others. Using the theories of both Winnicott and Kohut, I feel that I can help people look to the relationships in their life for potential strength to increase their self-esteem and well