don't get me started on facebook
I am a frequent user of the social networking site Facebook, and am only slightly ashamed to admit to it. But this being the case, I am regularly forced to read the statuses of about 230 people, most of whom are my friends, some are acquaintences and none are strangers. This has led to a list of formula Facebook statuses that deserve a cyber-slap, but which are trotted out with soul-destroying frequency. So, let me introduce you to the only slightly fraudulent, top ten list of Irritating Facebook Statuses.
1. The 'Pay Attention To Me' Plea
Example: OMG that has so made me feel like crying
Well, I'm very sorry that something has upset you, but let's look at this logically. If whatever this is has upset you so much, you won't want to talk about it, and thus will be made even more miserable by people continuously asking you what's wrong and forcing you to tell them. Solution: don't broadcast your misery on the internet, because most people won't care, and the ones that do won't appreciate being told via Facebook. Clear?
2. The Unnecessarily Frequent Updates
Example: On my way to town (five minutes later) In town (two minutes later) Looking round Primark (three minutes later) Just bought some socks (ten minutes later) Greggs or Subway?
I'll make this simple. You are spamming my Homepage and annoying me. Go away.
3. The Meaningful Song Lyrics
Example: I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul
Now I'm sure you understand exactly what Radiohead were thinking when they wrote Creep. I'm sure you can fully relate to it in every possible way, severe mental disorders and all, but do you think you could keep it to yourself? Cheers muchly.
4. The Deliberate Envy-Inducer
Example: OMG, David Tennant just had 600 red roses delivered to my office, plus tickets to see Take That and a handwritten love-letter.
Well now my day feels drastically inferior and rubbish, plus your arrogance levels just spiked and my
1. The 'Pay Attention To Me' Plea
Example: OMG that has so made me feel like crying
Well, I'm very sorry that something has upset you, but let's look at this logically. If whatever this is has upset you so much, you won't want to talk about it, and thus will be made even more miserable by people continuously asking you what's wrong and forcing you to tell them. Solution: don't broadcast your misery on the internet, because most people won't care, and the ones that do won't appreciate being told via Facebook. Clear?
2. The Unnecessarily Frequent Updates
Example: On my way to town (five minutes later) In town (two minutes later) Looking round Primark (three minutes later) Just bought some socks (ten minutes later) Greggs or Subway?
I'll make this simple. You are spamming my Homepage and annoying me. Go away.
3. The Meaningful Song Lyrics
Example: I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul
Now I'm sure you understand exactly what Radiohead were thinking when they wrote Creep. I'm sure you can fully relate to it in every possible way, severe mental disorders and all, but do you think you could keep it to yourself? Cheers muchly.
4. The Deliberate Envy-Inducer
Example: OMG, David Tennant just had 600 red roses delivered to my office, plus tickets to see Take That and a handwritten love-letter.
Well now my day feels drastically inferior and rubbish, plus your arrogance levels just spiked and my