S. Thompson
English 1101 TGAA
29 September 2014
The Abusive Husband
In America, there have been many cases of domestic violence in a household. In most cases, it involves a husband abusing his wife. After a while, some women have had enough and decide to leave, while others choose to stay. The main reason behind why a lot of women stay in abusive relationships is simply that they don’t know how to get out. Most of the women that stay are blinded by love. She may think she is so in love that the abuse is just her husband’s way of loving her. She says he does it out of love, because that is how he was loved by his parents. Sadly, she believes it to be the normal husband and wife relationship. An abused wife is usually in denial about ever having anything better. She believes she is beaten because everything is her fault. She will take the blame for anything that upsets her husband causing him to hit her. She will blame herself for not being good enough or even pretty enough to have anybody better. Without him, she really doesn’t see how things could be better. An abused spouse is usually very dependent upon her husband. Maybe she was married young allowing him to have full power. She never learned to take care of herself, because he was always there to lean on. Therefore she lacks independence, because that was never something she needed to get by. Being so dependent, she may be financially unstable. Her husband always took care of her and convinced her that she didn’t need to work, which left her with no money of her own. Not having any money, she couldn’t own anything around the house, leaving her with nothing to finance herself even if she tried to leave. Since she is so dependent, she believes she’ll have nothing unless she stays. When a woman is constantly abused by her husband, she becomes afraid. Her husband may not let her leave or he may threaten her about trying to. Because of the threats, she believes he will hurt her even more and possibly kill her if she tries to leave him. He may even hurt someone dear to her just to make her stay. Also, she is afraid of never having a better life. Her husband may have told her she will never have anything better which lowers her self-esteem. Believing her life cannot and will not be any better, she rejects any thoughts of someone else loving her, or being able to make it own her own. So afraid her life will fall apart, a woman will remain with her abusive husband. There are many women stuck in abusive relationships and don’t know how to get out. Usually it is because they think of it as love and are too afraid to do anything about it. No one deserves to be beaten to stay in a relationship. Domestic violence isn’t needed to have a happy home.
You May Also Find These Documents Helpful
-
In many cases, they feel they don’t have to leave an abusive relationship because they have gotten used to abusive behavior since childhood, so they do not see violence and abuse as something that’s bad for them. When coming from such families those women do not know other patterns of behavior, and therefore they have learned to expect abuse in any moment. These kinds of habits that come from the abusive childhood is what make it more difficult for these women’s to get out of these abusive relationships and the only way is by professional help.…
- 526 Words
- 2 Pages
Satisfactory Essays -
These included threats of abuse, restrictions of the woman and damage to woman's property. Six major types of abuse are explored and include threats of abuse, ridicule, jealousy, threats to change marriage, restrictions and damage to property. Authors examined long and short term relationships as well as women's perception of justifiable abuse as a factor to determine the impact of emotional abuse. The analysis also questions if emotional abuse is related to the frequency and severity of physical abuse, but further study appears necessary.…
- 588 Words
- 3 Pages
Good Essays -
Although there are estimated percentages of marriages which contained physical abuse, the exact amount is unknown because many are unreported. Some spouses are pressured into keeping the violent situation to themselves. Violent abuse does not only happen to women; men also suffer physical abuse. According to national statistics, one in three women and one in four men have experienced some type of physical abuse by an intimate partner in their lifetime; Severe physical abuse is less, a reported one in seven women and one in eighteen men by their intimate partners. (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence) Just as affairs, remaining in a violent marriage would be difficult. Sometimes, forgiving someone once leads to them taking advantage and making the mistake again. Violent marriages are unhealthy to not only spouses, but also children. Children with violent parents grow up watching their parents fight. This is an unhealthy situation for all members of the family. Ongoing violent marriages are difficult to renew; the marriage is not easy to…
- 1392 Words
- 6 Pages
Good Essays -
Domestic violence tends to intensify over a period of time and abusers may seem charming and perfect initially, but gradually on they become more aggressive and controlling as the relationship continues to grow. Abuse can commence with behaviors that at first can be dismissed or can be down played. It can start with name-calling, possessiveness, or distrust. Abusers can then begin to apologize for the action or try to convince the victim that they have done these things out of love or because they care for…
- 1487 Words
- 6 Pages
Better Essays -
Domestic violence is “a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence,” according to Safe Horizon (SH, 2015). Domestic violence can occur in many different relationships, such as parent-child relationships, dating couples relationships, or even sibling relationships. The psychological consequences of domestic violence are overlooked, most of the time, by people with the speculation that the victim can always just leave their attackers. Only about half of the cases of domestic violence are actually reported to authorities, according to the Feminist Majority Foundation (FMH, 2014). Battered…
- 1275 Words
- 6 Pages
Good Essays -
Kids that see their parents being abused often times grow up and think it is okay. Some kids even become depressed from thinking they are not loved. Some grow up and think that your suppose to beat your spouse to be in control. Others grow up scared to commit to a relationship because of the way their parents relationship was as a child. The kids could be scarred for life and need to seek therapy. They also get attached to someone else because of the abuse going on between the parents and feel as if they aren't loved! Domestic violence doesn't only affect the person being abused, it affects their family and friends around them too. But in reality to gain control in the relationship, all you have to do is talk to them and gain a better understanding from both persons point of view. That way the two can agree on something and then the relationship will go much…
- 867 Words
- 4 Pages
Good Essays -
Women who are victims of domestic violence often have multiple barriers to overcome before they choose to end the violent relationship. While in an abusive relationship, victims often don't go because they are threatened by the abuser (Ramsey, 2013). The women are often afraid of the perpetrator's retaliation if they report the abuse (Al-Natour, Qandil, & Gillespie, 2015). Women fear being killed by their abuser and harm coming to their children. Fear is the way through which abusers control their victims. Emotional control forces the victims to fear the harm that could happen to her and the people close to her. The victim will bear all the abuse to protect her children. The constant state of fear gives the victims a feeling of panic. Living in panic in the relationship often causes the victims to lose their confidence in themselves. When the victims lose their confidence, they begin to live their lives to make their abusers happy. The victims will start to neglect their needs and desires to ensure that the abuser is…
- 700 Words
- 3 Pages
Good Essays -
An average of 1 in 4 or 25% of women in the United States has experienced physical or sexual abuse throughout an intimate affiliation at some point in time in their life (“Domestic Violence”, 2009). Among these individuals, nearly 2,000 do not make it and die of the resulted injuries they suffer from (“Women against Abuse”, 2012). When it comes to domestic violence, anyone can be a victim; the violence does not discriminate as to who will suffer from it no matter their sex, age, race, ethnicity, or financial background. Behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other are what define this dangerous act of crime. Although no one deserves this, it is important to learn of the precautions in order to help someone you love who is going through what is known to be a repetitive pattern of ongoing abuse.…
- 2270 Words
- 10 Pages
Good Essays -
Domestic violence is mental, physical and emotional violence that occur around the world in any type of family household. Even though its frown up in society there are individuals that are able to continue with they’re violent actions. Catriona MirrlesBlack’s (1999.) survey showed 6.6 million domestic assaults just in a year and half was physical injury meaning a real problem and a clear pattern for domestic violence. However this does not apply to just woman this also includes men, children, youth, elderly people (as they are unable to protect themselves as much.), people struggling with financial difficulties, (stress and the worries of everyday life.) According to Kathryn Coleman et al (2007.) main violent occur in male as they are more capable also physically and willing to act up on domestic violence; to put women ‘back into her place. ‘This is because the change in equality, including employment and childcare.…
- 477 Words
- 2 Pages
Good Essays -
The truth is there are many reasons why people don’t leave an abusive relationship right away; one reason being is fear for their lives. For anyone who has suffered verbal abuse ‘behind closed doors’ the reality is painful. When someone abuses you in secret the abuser gives a false impression to others that the relationship is healthy, that you are happy, and okay. It also creates the illusion that you are the problem and not abuser because abusers have the ability to manipulate others into taking their side. The most obvious thing to do to prevent the abuser’s tactics from being effective is to leave permanently or to put as much distance as you possibly can between you and your abuser. This may be the only effective choice to put in place, whether it’s physical or verbal abuse. Many women have tried to escape abusive relationships, but are afraid of the possible consequences. This may be easy for women who have a strong family support system but many women have failed to find relief in these situations simply because they don’t have family support or adequate resources. My heart is often troubled after reading countless domestic violence cases where women have been severely beaten or even murdered by their partners. It really bothers me when these incidents take place right in front of the children. If you don’t have the courage to leave for yourself, please leave for the sake of your children. No child should ever have to watch their mother being abused or murdered in front of…
- 559 Words
- 3 Pages
Good Essays -
Domestic Violence in woman is the most common. This terrible act of violence is so hard to deter in woman because they don't want to see their loved ones in trouble. "Domestic violence is about control -- being mentally controlled by a significant other. That is the reason why, after leaving an abusive relationship, a victim will go back to her abuser an average of four times before she decides she has the mental strength to leave for good."(page1). They think it will only happen once, or there attacker will say I will never do it again, but in reality they always attack more than once. The attacker mainly wants to have control over the victim, and he is going to do anything that he has to do to get that control. Abusers use the victims emotions to try and break them down. Emotions like isolation when the attacker controls what she does, who she is aloud to be associated with, and where she goes on a daily basis. In an article from live well a woman tells us the things her husband would do to her just at work. “After two months, he began to wait for me outside work. If I didn’t…
- 1717 Words
- 7 Pages
Good Essays -
The question of why men or women abuse and why men and women are reluctant to end abusive relationships may seem abstract, but theories have important implications how to understand the problem (Sampson, 2006).…
- 4456 Words
- 18 Pages
Best Essays -
Crucial to social understandings of domestic violence are those factors that influence the meanings and interpretations attached to the offender’s behavior. Women may interpret the violent behavior of their husbands or intimate partners as justifiable or excusable “I deserved it” or “He was drinking and didn’t know what he was doing.” Or, they may interpret the violent partner’s behavior as vicious and criminal or the result of a serious mental disorder. Victims of spousal assault construct a “definition of the situation” that takes into account their economic resources and social supports, religious beliefs, and access to legal assistance and protective programs. Women wo are economically dependent, who believe divorce is religiously prohibited, who do not gain emotional support from others, or who do not have access to the police or legal assistance or protective shelters are less likely to see alternatives to their abusive situation. They end to define their situation as hopeless and themselves as helpless to change it.…
- 2403 Words
- 8 Pages
Powerful Essays -
We must consider that the abusive partner is insecurely attached: we can see this is when they abuse: it generally occurs when they feel insecure about…
- 1268 Words
- 6 Pages
Powerful Essays -
Domestic violence occurs across the world in various cultures and affects people of all economic statuses. I was in an abusive relationship; I was a victim of domestic violence in my previous relationship with Tony the father of my kids. A relationship that I should have gotten out of before it even started. But when you think that you have found the one, the love you have for that person blinds you from reality. It blinds you from what is right and what is wrong. There is always one incident that makes women change and open their eyes. For me, this was the day Tony brought another woman into our home and came after me that’s when I made the decision that changed mine and my kid’s life.…
- 1009 Words
- 5 Pages
Good Essays