Bachelor of Mass Communication III-2March 2, 2013
Divorce bill Feature:
“Till death do us part? or Easy good-bye?”
Minister: “Dear Family and Friends, on behalf of the (groom’s and bride’s names) I welcome you all for this marriage ceremony. We are here today to encourage, celebrate and support the covenant of these two people are going to make and to share in joy that they experience as they pledge their love and commitment to each other We rejoice in the manner of God has led them to each other and got them to the place where they now stand.”
LOVE is the major reason why people assess commitment and get into marriage. And because of the support and care between the husband and wife, FAMILY is formed – as the basic unit of the society. At first, they were really excited to be bind together. They even planned what would be their house like, or what would be the names of their children. People around them are also affected to the point that they were excited of where will be the honeymoon of the couple. Meaning, the only one thing left is the ring to show the bond between the husband and wife.
BUT Adam and Eve ate the forbidden apple AGAIN, and discovered an idea that . . .“All Catholic countries in the world have divorce and. . “ so what is our point? We want to be able to say that we are the only country in the world with families that are willing to suffer? We’re the only country in the world, is that something that we are proud of? What does it mean? Does it mean na mapagtiis tayo? Does it mean na ignorant tayo? It just means that the policy makers refuse to look at this issue, that’s what it means,” (a Pia Cayetano’s statement in the weekly Kapihan sa Senado media forum.)
If we look at it, aside of Vatican and Malta, Philippines is the only country that doesn’t have a divorce law. In the Philippine’s existence, putting aside the muslims, Filipino’s are known to be family oriented wherein on other countries, as if the smallest yet the basic unit of the society which is the FAMILY (that starts the process in marriage) is being treated lightly and alarmingly influencing the sincerity of Filipino’s in committing a legal relationship. But how did it happen? When the people did decided that Divorce bill should also be on this country?
Minister: “(to the groom) the woman stands by your side is going to be your wife. She will look to you FOR COMFORT, FOR SUPPORT, FOR LOVE, FOR UNDERSTANDING, FOR ENCOURAGEMENT, and FOR PROTECTION. You must never take her for granted, and always stand by her, for good or ill.” In response, Groom: “Today in presence of God, Family, and Friends, I pledge to join my life with yours. With God’s help I promise to provide, protect, respect and support you through all that life has to offer. I promise to stand by you through good and bad times, in Happiness and sorrow, come riches and poverty. You are God’s beautiful gift to me and I will cherish you all my life!” (Vice-versa)
Men are all good. They are also mighty and strong. They are capable of comforting, supporting, loving, understanding, encouraging, and protecting their woman. And obviously, if they really love the woman, they would confidently say a vow that would assure the woman including her family that he will do everything for her. But, after marriage and as the time goes by, some Men eventually changes. Their treatment towards their wives becomes rusty and as if they are the ones who should be protected and encourage. Some women are the same. Meaning, both of them taking a vow but they would eventually forget it behind. If there are LOYALISTS, there are also VIOLATORS who violates the right of woman and children who were the often victims of abuse. Instead of using their strength to protect the children of women, most of the men are using it to hurt them and show their authority over the weak.
The Gabriela party-list representatives Luzviminda Ilagan and Emmi de Jesus created a bill called “An Act Introducing Divorce in the Philippines” that aims to protect women and children’s rights and to make a way for those who have “irreparable marriage”.
Divorce, unlike of Annulment and legal separation, is timely and perhaps more affordable for those who lives at a lower class level who wants to separate with their spouses. Meaning, this kind of separation is more available for those who want to break up easily, and it is open anytime and perhaps, awake for 24/7. It’s not just merely talking about separating a husband and wife but it’s also involves Emotional, Co-parental, Economic, Community and at last, Legal separation. What are these? Emotional separation – it demands abandonment on an individual’s feelings towards marriage such as disenchantment, disappointment, dissatisfaction, bitterness and anger, for the former spouses and feelings of rejection, confusion, fear, anger and dejection for the children. Co-parental separation – although arguing with post-marital conflicts as well as economic and time restructuring, it insists that parents still share legal and physical custody of children despite the termination of the marriage. Economic separation – for the less-earning spouse, it is crucial to attain new financial skills which include but are not limited to gaining employment and skills in reallocating funds and assets. Community separation – it implies that people who took divorce should not expect longer support and comfort from shared family, friends and acquaintances in the community. Legal separation – professional conciliation may be necessary in the resolution of such issues as reputation, privacy, division of assets and custody raised in the legal proceedings – especially in the part of the innocent or less capable party.
BUT! Are you sure to give up the marriage that you’ve prepared for many months? The LOVE that motivated you to be married with each other? Are you sure that the Divorce is the only option?
Minister: “Do you take (groom’s / bride’s name) to be your lawful wedded husband / wife to have and behold from this day on, for better or for worse, for richer of for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?” In response, Groom and Bride, “I DO”.
Well, it’s true that a lot of women want to separate with their husbands because of being fed up. It also indicates that not all of marriages are successful as a form of union due to economic, psychological, emotional, and physical reasons. But we shall not forget the 2 words that is the most powerful of all, the “I DO”. In those words, your conviction to commit a legal relationship is strong. Of course we don’t tolerate the martyrdom. We should encourage people to fight back to protect themselves. But divorce is STILL NOT AN OPTION. Probably, people are just amazed that Philippines are included on those remaining countries that don’t have a divorce law. Isn’t that good? It’ll make Philippines more popular since it is on its retentive stage when it comes in defying or ignoring the presence of divorce. But that’s not the case here.
In Christian, wherein, God is the almighty and absolute above all, who was the author of our sacred bible, said the following through these verses: Genesis 2: 24: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh; Mark 10: 6-9: 6 But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. 7 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, 8 and the two shall become one flesh; consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate; 1 Corinthians 7:10-11: To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband)— and that the husband should not divorce his wife; 1 Corinthians 7:39: A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If the husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
Minister: “The wedding ring symbolizes unity, a circle unbroken without beginning or end. And today (bride’s and groom’s names) exchange these rings as confirmation of their vows to join their lives, to work at all times, to create a life that is complete and unbroken and to love each other unconditionally. May the Lord bless these rings which you give to each other as the symbol of your love and fidelity.” In response, Groom / Bride: “With this ring I thee wed. I offer you my hand and my heart as I know they will be safe with you. All that I am I give to you and all that I have I share with you.”
The ring symbolizes unity, but not just that. It also symbolizes the cyclical and endless hardship that the husband and wife might face all along their way walking side by side with each other. Divorce is a kind of a double bladed sword. It doesn’t only cut your ties from each other but also the moral. Moral in the eyes of the people and the in the eyes of our Lord who binds you together.
And obviously, God did not put man and woman together and bring them apart whenever they met some problems. It as if, divorce is becoming a self-satisfactory way out of in being tired of a commitment and losing a relationship without trying hard to fix it again. Suffering, is of course, expected if you accept marriage and took a vow to each other and that’s why you say something “sa hirap man o ginhawa”. But it doesn’t mean that we’re going to take for granted our freedom and keep our voice silent when we experience intolerable things. If some believes that Divorce is a way to protect women and children even more, there also some who believes that there are still ways aside of nullifying a marriage and it’s elements for good, just in order for us to protect women and children rights.
On this issue, Bayan Muna Representaive Neri Colmenares doesn’t advocate divorce; rather, he seeks to make the annulment proceedings more available and affordable for the poor. His proposal also recognizes “spousal violence, infidelity and abandonment as presumptive psychological incapacity constituting ground for the annulment of marriage.” Quoting, “The bill aims to address the inequality and inaccessibility that have resulted from the remedy granted by the Family Code to be free from a void marriage with a spouse who has committed abusive acts of violence or infidelity or abandonment (of) his or her family,” Also, Marikina Rep. Marcelino Teodoro has filed an “Anti-Divorce and Unlawful Dissolution of Marriage Act” seeking a “guarantee that no legislation encouraging or facilitating the dissolution of marriage and recognizing divorce shall be passed.” Teodoro, acknowledges that the Divorce law of Ilagan and de Jesus have a worthy objective but he said “these still “undermine the value of marriage by encouraging couples to put an end to their relationship instead of allowing them to reconcile immediately or fix the same over time.” Meaning, Divorce law might not mean it but, it unconsciously encouraging partners to give up easily on their relationships that is sacred not only in the eyes of people but also to our Lord who made us all.
Still, a lot of Filipino people seem to be interested in making the Divorce law legal and present to our government. When inquirer conducted an unofficial poll survey about divorce through online that run from December 19 to January 3, 92.44 percent or 40,414 voted “Yes” and only 7.56 percent or 3,306 of poll participants were against of it.
Let’s not broke the vow immediately. If it comes to worst, let’s try to look for other ways and avoid saying “good bye”, and when everything calm down, then we just say this again, “till death do us part” and we shall not forget what Senator Lacson said.
“Ako at the outset ayoko. Walang gain in the sense na ito will address the concerns of the poor…sa divorce I don’t think ang culture at religion natin ay ready for that. Away na talaga hinahanap natin pag divorce. May annulment naman,”
In the end, it’s your choice to be with each other and vowed in front of many people. And let the LOVE CONQUER ALL THINGS. Make sure if you get into marriage, you’re sure of your decision and don’t let everyone down.
And let the minister tell this with assurance: “I PROUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE”.