difficult conversations
what matters most. The book provides information on how to have hard conversations, improve listening and problem solving skills. It is applicable in our personal and business life.
Essential Information:
Difficult Conversations How to Discuss What Matters Most
Stone, D., Patton, B., & Heen, S. (1999) New York, New York: Penguin.
ISBN0-670-88339-5
Outline of the Thesis:
General Subject Matter: Business communication
Theme: Communication during uncomfortable conversations.
Thesis: The author explores what makes some conversations difficult, why people avoid having difficult conversations, and why people often manage difficult conversations poorly. The author then provides information on how to handle these situations.
Assessment of Author's Main Points:
What Happened
The “what happened conversation” is where most difficult conversation develop from. Most begin with some type of dispute of what transpired. They may agree on the basic facts but have different interpretations of what it means. The author suggests taking the “And Stance,” acknowledgment that both parties have a different takes on the situation. Next we should not make assumptions based of ones intentions. We often jump from the impact of the situation to the intent without asking for an explanation of their motives. Finally, in the “what happened” conversation we need to avoid assigning blame. It makes us lose focus on the problem and how to fix it. Instead concentrate on how all parties contributed to the situation. This emphasizes understanding causes, joint responsibility, and avoiding future problems.
Feelings
Feelings make a difficult conversation just that, difficult. We may question the validity of our own feelings or worry about angering or hurting the other person. This is why many people try to ignore the emotional content of these interactions. The author states instead of avoidance we need to acknowledge and share feelings. Otherwise it leads to
Essential Information:
Difficult Conversations How to Discuss What Matters Most
Stone, D., Patton, B., & Heen, S. (1999) New York, New York: Penguin.
ISBN0-670-88339-5
Outline of the Thesis:
General Subject Matter: Business communication
Theme: Communication during uncomfortable conversations.
Thesis: The author explores what makes some conversations difficult, why people avoid having difficult conversations, and why people often manage difficult conversations poorly. The author then provides information on how to handle these situations.
Assessment of Author's Main Points:
What Happened
The “what happened conversation” is where most difficult conversation develop from. Most begin with some type of dispute of what transpired. They may agree on the basic facts but have different interpretations of what it means. The author suggests taking the “And Stance,” acknowledgment that both parties have a different takes on the situation. Next we should not make assumptions based of ones intentions. We often jump from the impact of the situation to the intent without asking for an explanation of their motives. Finally, in the “what happened” conversation we need to avoid assigning blame. It makes us lose focus on the problem and how to fix it. Instead concentrate on how all parties contributed to the situation. This emphasizes understanding causes, joint responsibility, and avoiding future problems.
Feelings
Feelings make a difficult conversation just that, difficult. We may question the validity of our own feelings or worry about angering or hurting the other person. This is why many people try to ignore the emotional content of these interactions. The author states instead of avoidance we need to acknowledge and share feelings. Otherwise it leads to