Deterioration in Long Distance Relationship

Topics: Mind, Interpersonal relationship, Optimism Pages: 8 (2331 words) Published: January 17, 2012
Introduction

Long distance relationship, known as LDR is model of a romantic relationship that takes place when the partners are separated by significant distance. I have been experiencing this kind of relationship since 10 months ago and still going. As an international student studying abroad, my boyfriend and I separated within thousand miles between Indonesia and Australia. Although the time different is not far different and communication device is not a problem, deterioration still appears in our relationship. Habits and dating style changed create insecure feelings that raise negative perception of relationship. Fighting and grumpy feelings most likely occur when we are having a bad mood while ego controls the logic. These negative issues affect our relationship because deterioration not only encounter our romance, but also our thoughts and idea about relationship. Nevertheless, there are some strategies that long distance couple could learn and understand more to built healthy long distance relationship.

Major Theory and Discussion

# Frequency and method of communication

Long Distance Relationship (LDR) is like no other relationship. Couple who experience LDR are separated with geographical distance whilst still carry on the relationship commitment. With the different ways of dating compared to normal relationship, there are many issues related to deterioration of LDR. Frequency and method of communication are one of the issues that affect deterioration of LDR. Communication is needed to provide the sense of care giving (Pistole, 2010). With communication, it shows the level of caring and attention from each person. Care giving is needed to maintain and increase the feeling of love while make relationship last. If a couple experiences the reduction of communication, some negative thought may arise from each other perception. Example, with the absence of text message, calls, or emails received, LDR couple may think there is appearance of third person, the partner already forget him / her or maybe there are more things that more important than their relationship. These negative perceptions are dangerous for LDR, it makes deterioration of LDR easier to happen.

# Level of uncertainty and satisfactory of future possibilities

Another factor in deterioration of LDR is the level of uncertainty and satisfactory of future possibilities. Couple who have uncertainty of future possibilities reported distress and have deterioration in their relationship (Kinney and Maguire, 2007). Distress occurs from the effect of insecure that couples feel when they are in doubt of their future. A couple who is satisfied with the future and has big chance of reuniting, have higher levels in relationship satisfaction than couple who has issues with their future prospects. Couples that already have good vision in the future most likely feel excited and happy while running LDR. Distress occur from uncertainty of future leads to deterioration in believe of commitment and feelings. Moreover, the negative perceptions that appear from distress affect the romance and faith in long distance relationship.

As I experienced the long distance relationship with my boyfriend for 10 months, it is clearly shown that this type of relationship is not easy and simple. The feeling of bored and insecure affects our communication habits. When negative ego encounters, I do not want to ring him in first place because I want him to ring me first. I have perception that if he ring me first, it shows that he has more attention and care for me. But the fact is not like what I hoped. The more I am waiting for him to call first, the more our communication is reduced. Continues text, phone call and webcam call are no longer occurred and it makes us fighting. Communication is the only way to make our relationship last in this LDR and if it is deteriorated, it affects our romance and faith in each other. When we are missed each other news, negative...


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