Puberty does strange things to you. You grow profusely, your emotions conflict with your daily life routine, and you start to grow hair in places you didn’t even know existed – I apologize for the vivid details. People often think these are the main subjects you need to prepare for when you have a pre-pubescent teen, but truly, the hardest part is learning to understand your teen’s varying intentions. As young adults, teens must seek meaning in their existence. Whether that is the small joys in life, or the humungous ones, it’s a parent or guardian’s job to support them. Defiance, conformity and social control are some subjects not everybody understands. Why do teens love to disobey authority figures? Why do kids conform in groups? Why do kids feel the need to partake in fads and who’s truly responsible for molding our society’s personality? Through psychological, anthropological and sociological examination, these perplexing questions can be answered. Learning to understand your teen is the best thing you can do, and in the end, it’s only going to leave your teen’s emotions, thoughts, and ideas amalgamated.
Defiance is just a part of life for some people. Some people like to feel like they are standing up for something they believe in, that they are rebelling against the system – why? The subject of Defiance can be explained through a psychological scrutiny. Observing teenagers makes you wonder how the innocence and purity of a young little boy could ever turn into the effrontery and boldness of a 16 year old. It’s all a part of life, and comprehending that is difficult. Defiant children and teens think of themselves as equal to adults, (Defiant Children). This leads them to unrealistic expectations and inevitable conflict with parents and teachers. Defiance in media, at school and in other places ultimately leads to change in society. Defiance can be seen as negative to the common eye, but it actually often leads to things being done a different way, and people stretching boundaries. It is truly survival of the fittest being seen through teens thinking outside of the box and changing society. When a teen feels the need to rebel, he might stumble upon a way of doing something that no one else has done before, and it might work perfectly for him. When kids simply follow the leader, things cannot advance. If a teen is taught at an early age to be a sheep rather than a herder, then he will most likely not better his society as much as a smart, rebel will. Defiance can also have a negative effect on society – it all depends on the intentions. If a teen has good intentions for what he does, he will follow his heart. When a teen just wants to do bad when rebelling with negativity, he is most likely doing what he is doing for attention from someone. Attention is a big factor in defiance. The teen wants to be seen and understood, and he wants to find a way to make people understand this. Defiance comes mostly out of arrogance, (Empowering Parents.) A stubborn child will think that his way of doing things is just fine, and no help is required; this is a sign that the child feels like he is being controlled, or tied down. A teen’s confidence on the outside may seem enlightening, but inside the mind of a young adult, is a very confused person trying to find out what is best for him in life – a person trying to put meaning to the esoteric nonsense that is existence. You can’t change this, but you can help them through it. Being calm, assertive and non-controlling is the best way to contain your child’s defiance. Discipline is obviously important, and if the act of wrong is serious enough, a punishment must be ensued. But listen to them, understand them, and reason with them, rather than degrade them with a childish punishment – punish them as if they are an adult. The point is to help them contain their defiance and hormones into a safe medium like art, sports or schooling. But a teen’s young mind is dynamical, so don’t push...
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Rutherford, Jesse Jayne, Kathleen Nickerson, and Ph.D..
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