Deception In Romantic Relationships

Romantic partners typically idealize honesty and see lying as manipulative and unacceptable, (Roggensack, Sillars, 2013, pg. 001). For a partner in this type of situation, knowing but not wanting to face the facts, tends to not be knowledge that recipient of the deception relishes, because there are relationship rules that should be clearly conveyed, understood, and followed. When rules governing a relationship are unclear, no respected, not agreed upon fully by both parties, are contradicting, or abstract, relationship conflict has the clear potential of showing its face more often than not. Being personally attached to such a devastating deceptive relationship in the past, I found it to be extremely embarrassing, and hard to heal from the mental lashings that followed after my partner’s emotional traversing was revealed. While serving in the military, being assigned to military intelligence, there were no shortage of so-called “Dear John” letters, written to love ones that are usually serving over-seas in heart-ship tours. These particular letters to loved ones serving their country pulled no strings in finally revealing deception, lies, and alibies, from those spouses left back at home. Witnessing first-hand the unrepairable and sometimes fatal damage that deception in romantic relationships can cause, I ask myself, “Is there a remedy to this madness that continues to plague our new age culture, and society’s reckless mismanaged way of thinking?” Rules, as they say are meant to be broken, but in the case of romantic relationships, they can either save your relationship, or show the truth behind what lies beneath. As (Burgoon and Levine, pg. 202, 2010) observe; Deception comes in a variety of guises, from flat-out lies, elaborate fabrications, misdirec- tion and exaggerations, to evasions, equivocations, concealments, omissions, strategic ambiguity to more subtle misdirection and camouflage.

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