Preview

Debrah Tannen: The Communication Gap Between Men And Women

Good Essays
Open Document
Open Document
656 Words
Grammar
Grammar
Plagiarism
Plagiarism
Writing
Writing
Score
Score
Debrah Tannen: The Communication Gap Between Men And Women
The widespread imbalance in the intrests and expectations between the sexes, poses as a communication gap between the two genders. It causes us to have different impressions of social interaction between men and woman. One must understand the other sex in order to come up with a solution. In Debrah Tannen’s essay on “Why Is It So Hard For Men and Women to Talk to Each Other,” she tries to inform us of this lack of communication between men and women and the problems that it can cause. The author starts off by giving the reader an example of a situation involving a man and his wife where the husband would comment on how much his wife is the talker in the family and how she is always talking when she is at home. This demonstrates that men generally talk more in public situations, while women tend to talk more at home. She follows up by talking about how most of the women that divorced gave lack of …show more content…
This is because men dont usually like to look the other person in the eye much when they are being spoken to. They are more easily distracted by their surroundings, and so their eyes tend to wander around. An example is given between a guy and his girlfriend where the man would lie down on the floor and cover his eyes with his arms when his girlfriend was talking to him. This gave the girlfriend the impression that her boyfriend was taking a nap and completely ignoring her. In actuallity, he is trying to concentrate by blocking his vision from surrounding distractions. When women talk, they tend to stay on one topic, whereas men like to jump from one topic to the next. This leads to the next point that the author makes, which says that men often switch topics. This gives the woman the impression that they are not really listening. Men’s coversation dont normally last very long, but women tend elaborate much in a within a

You May Also Find These Documents Helpful

  • Better Essays

    Tannen says these habits are formed from a very early age. She says she believes that systematic differences in childhood socialization make talk between men and women like cross-cultural communication, heir to all the attraction and pitfalls of that enticing but difficult enterprise (Tannen 101). She goes on to explain that kids typically play with children of their own gender and therefore develop sex-separate organizational structures and interactive norms. *** In the third section, Listening to Body Language, Tannen explains how men and women interpret body language differently and how this plays a big part in misunderstanding one another. When women are among other women, they usually make noises that suggest they are listening and encourage the talker to keep going. When they carry this habit into conversations with men, the men take these noises as interruptions and a sign that they are overreacting or impatient. Men are often silent listeners and tend to look around and face different directions while listening. Women interpret these habits as not listening or showing a lack of care. Also, when women talk to each other they tend to think that a conversationalists…

    • 1023 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    Deborah Tannen wrote the article sex, lies and conversation man and his wife are present in a small gathering in Virginia. The man is really talkative throughout the event. However, when he is complimented for his ability to express himself; he answers that in reality he is quite and his wife is the talkative one. Women tend to complain about their husbands been quiet. This is caused by the way men express themselves compared to women.…

    • 346 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Can differences in communication between men and women be defined as black and white? Deborah Tannen’s essay “But What Do You Mean” divided the biggest areas of miscommunication between men and women into seven categories, three of which caught my attention for personal reasons. As examined, women have a habit of apologizing to maintain a pleasant atmosphere. Tannen expressed how men and women react to complaints, as well. Jokes were also discussed, suggesting that men razz each other to maintain a one-up position; however, women’s jokes tend to put themselves down. Regarding Tannen’s description of these three communication categories, my personal experiences fall more within a grey area rather than assigning themselves to black and white roles.…

    • 584 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Communication is a very important factor in human life. Without communication our lives would be dull because we wouldn't learn from each other or keep up with what is occurring around us every day. Men and women communicate in the same form, but each of them oppose in certain aspects of communication that may cause interference between both sexes. Why do we differ so much to often cause uncomfortable social situations between each other? This question is often answered by understanding simple social observations of both sexes as adults and as children.…

    • 726 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    There is a large problem when it comes to communication between men and women, whether it is between children, teenagers, or adults; because of a cross gender society. Once both sides understand this "cross-culture communication" problem, so that no gender is blamed, improvement will naturally occur. Deborah Tannen, is an award winning writer and a best selling author for her eccentric essays based on differences of male and female conversations. In the essay, "Sex, Lies and Conversation" she writes on the many distinctions of the style of conversations on both men and women.…

    • 853 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    “Sex, Sighs, and Conversation: Why Men and Women Can’t Communicate” was written by Deborah Tannen. He explained to men and women that several divergent assumptions between them, which causes theirs talking, thinking and behavior in different ways. Deborah Tanne used examples and comparing to support his viewpoint. In this article, Deborah Tannen explained by many examples.…

    • 303 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    In today's Society conversations between males and females has become difficult. There are a lot of miscommunications between males and females. In Deborah Tannen’s article “ Sex, Lies and Conversations” Tannen talks about how men and women talk differently to each other as well as the misunderstandings between each. She believed that no one person was at fault, whereas the differences caused by sexual standards. I feel that communication changes between males and females when in a different age group. These groups range from children, to teens, and adults.…

    • 649 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    You Just Don’t Understand Women and Men in Conversation by Deborah Tannen is basically an explanation on how women and men converse. Tannens main goal is to give advice to the different genders in order for them to avoid as much conflict as possible. Tannen’s main ideas are to explain how differently women and men react to each other’s way of being. It’s like they’re in their own little world while living in the same big world. Men tend to try to dominate situations and tend to always want to be at the top. Women do not tend to want to get into conflict but tend to show understanding. These big differences bring them into conflict. A Tannen explains, “What he wanted conflicted with what she wanted”. (40) Women and men are constantly clashing in opinions.…

    • 1042 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    When growing up and interacting with others, boys and girls usually play with other children who are of the same gender. Showing that the a child’s development is based upon peer interactions which link to how they talk with their significant other (208). Men and women interpret the need of conversation differently as they are growing up, typically men stay more reserved towards their friends, where women are more likely to talk more openly. When women and men grow together in order to form relationships, the women will be more expecting of the man to be open and talkative when it comes to their conversations, whether they be in public or in the privacy of their own home. This stems back to how a woman is raised. Women are raised to not be afraid to express themselves, so because of this, a wife will expect “her husband to be a new and improved version of a best friend” (208). A sense of closeness is formed within a relationships, when conversations of importance are brought up. If that bond is not formed early on, the relationship could…

    • 1012 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    In this chapter, Floyd (2011) discusses the many ways that gender affects interpersonal relationships. He describes is as a “defining feature of our identity, shaping the way we think, look, and communicate” (p. 51). It is explained that each gender culture puts emphasis on different parts of the relationship. Women come to value communication and closeness, while men value taking part in activities together (Floyd, 2011, p. 57). This makes sense when I think about how I communicate with men versus with women.…

    • 635 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    A major disparity between men and women is their conversation goals. Women always want to share everything, but men do not. For instance, a woman likes voicing everything she thinks and how she feels. Moreover, the women like to tell story what happened in a day and she want her partners can feel and understand her story. In contrast, a man does not really want to share what is going on in his mind, except that the conversation is inevitable. In contrast, men do not want to share his…

    • 588 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    The article, “Sex, Lies and Conversation”, by Deborah Tannen, professor of linguistics, distinctively informs us about the importance of conversation and how it drastically affects marriages. Aimed at married couples and people in serious relationships; Tannen, explains marriages are being destroyed because men express themselves more freely in public rather than at home “(Tannen 2)”. Tannen enlightens us with the similarities between men and boys and women and girls. For the latter “intimacy is the fabric of relationships, and talk is the thread from which it is woven…So a woman expects her husband to be a new and improved version of a best friend” “(Tannen 9)”. Men and boys on the other hand have bonds “based less on talking and more on doing things together. Since they don’t assume talk is the cement that binds a relationship, men don’t know what kind of talk women want and they don’t miss it when it’s not there” “(Tannen 10)”. Men and women view marriage and conversation completely different in saying “women’s conversational habits are as frustrating to men as men’s are to women” “(Tannen 18)”. Ending relationships and divorce are not solely based on conversation or the lack there of, yet, it is a fundamental element in our everyday lives and it should be understood by each participant so a clear understanding of what the other is feeling is reached and interpreted correctly. It is in these misconceptions and this miscommunication, Tannen believes, that we…

    • 294 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    The fact that men and women are different in their communication styles is understandable. They differ in the way they think and it shows in the way they talk and communicate with each other. Though their communication is unlike each other, we do speak the same language –to each gender it just might have a different meaning, connotations or personal messages.…

    • 108 Words
    • 1 Page
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    An American Childhood

    • 739 Words
    • 2 Pages

    The article “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” by Deborah Tannen discusses the different ways men and women communicate. The selection “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” was taken from Tannen’s book “You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation”. In the selection Tannen, a linguist’s, describes the discrepancies of communication between men and women. Most women cite conversation as a problem in relationships between a man and a woman. The discrepancies start in the stage of childhood. This is the time frame where the habits are first formed, as the child’s development is mainly influenced from their peers. I agree with Tannen’s points on why the problems arise, and can relate all the points to my own personal conversations. Tannen describes one idea as how women use intimacy as the background for friendships, and this is how all of my friendships are based. Two other points, the misalignment in the mechanics of the conversation between a man and women and how women make more listener-noises often all are true on how my conversations are conducted. Both points tend to make me believe that men aren’t listening when I am conversing with them, and this is the response from the discrepancies between a man and woman that Tannen describes.…

    • 739 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    Communicaton

    • 424 Words
    • 2 Pages

    Tannen describes how differences in communication start in the childhood socialization. For young girls, conversation is the cornerstone of friendship. By sharing secrets, thoughtsm feelings, and impressions, girls and women build intimacy in their relationships. Where as young boys build relationsips by doing things together. Young boys are more inclusive with each other, creating larger groups of friends. Within these large groups, boys compete with each other to avoid the subordinate position. Intimate conversation is a form of weakness for boys and men, leaving one to feel as the subordinate just like a child listening to an adult.…

    • 424 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays