Preview

Deborah Tannen Analysis Essay

Better Essays
Open Document
Open Document
1042 Words
Grammar
Grammar
Plagiarism
Plagiarism
Writing
Writing
Score
Score
Deborah Tannen Analysis Essay
Ap English
Tannen Essay
Section 1: Theory You Just Don’t Understand Women and Men in Conversation by Deborah Tannen is basically an explanation on how women and men converse. Tannens main goal is to give advice to the different genders in order for them to avoid as much conflict as possible. Tannen’s main ideas are to explain how differently women and men react to each other’s way of being. It’s like they’re in their own little world while living in the same big world. Men tend to try to dominate situations and tend to always want to be at the top. Women do not tend to want to get into conflict but tend to show understanding. These big differences bring them into conflict. A Tannen explains, “What he wanted conflicted with what she wanted”. (40) Women and men are constantly clashing in opinions. Men are usually trying to be above each other which is something Tannen calls “one-up”. It is like men are always in competition with people around them. For example, in chapter 2, Tannen explains why men don’t ask for directions. She explains, “The fact that you have the information, and the person you are speaking to doesn’t, sends a metamessage of superiority. If reasons are inherently hierarchal, then the one who has more information is framed as higher up on the ladder, by virtue of being more knowledgeable and competent.” This shows how men are always trying to be at the top of every conversation. They want to know everything, in order to be at the top of everyone. Women have a completely different view point then men. They aim to be accepted by others, they try to avoid conflict, and they tend to show that they understand what the other person is trying to say. For example, in chapter 6, Tannen begins to explain how in a comic, the two boys are fighting while a girl named Debbie is trying to be the peacemaker. She claims that she is looking for someone but the boys say that the person isn’t there. Even though she knows the person is there, she acts like she

You May Also Find These Documents Helpful

  • Satisfactory Essays

    In “Both Sides Come Out Fighting: The Argument Culture and the Press”, Deborah Tannen explains that the Press over-simplifies and dramatizes situations, and validates ridiculous arguments in order to appeal to viewers. She provides many examples of the harm this practice can cause, and describes the “Argument Culture” which is present in society. The Press has sizable influence because the way that events are reported affects people’s perceptions, in turn this affects the events themselves. The Media relies on controversy and drama to make news more interesting. They may exaggerate what was said, or analyse non-existent tensions. In the pursuit of remaining unbiased both sides of a story will be equally represented. The societal belief that…

    • 274 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Better Essays

    Final Amusing

    • 1673 Words
    • 7 Pages

    Deborah Tannen’s You Just Don’t Understand has a very ordered structure. Tannen organizes her book in an alternating point style. All of Tannen’s chapters are filled with sub-chapters. The sub-chapters contain material with a sharper focus on the chapter’s main topic. Throughout the chapters of the book, Tannen first specifies the various issues men and women face in conversation. Next, Tannen provides an example of the issue occurring in the everyday life. Lastly, Tannen offers either a solution or a way to compromise the problem. Additionally, in the start of the book, she begins with broadly focused chapters describing the reasons behind various miscommunications. As the book goes on, Tannen begins writing on more specific issues and solutions, pinpointing the main causes for misunderstandings between genders.…

    • 1673 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    Laura Schlessinger sees women as the issue in relationships, author Deborah Tannen believes that both genders cause problems in relationships. Tannen shows all the research she conducted that allows the reader to infer that males and females are very different. Obviously males and females are raised differently, but it seems no one expected for that to affect their relationships. Tannen provides evidence that shows the different mindset of males and females when she explains, “For women, as for girls, intimacy is the fabric of relationships, and talk is the thread from which it is woven. Bonds between boys can be as intense as girls’, but they are based less on talking, more on doing things together” (1). Simply, boys and girls are wired differently. They have a different mindset about what is most important in a relationship. Because they each have a different way of thinking, it can often cause problems. Those problems are getting more difficult to solve. Both the male and female want to be right and not at fault for why they fought. That concept is easy to understand after reading, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,” because Tannen explains it thoroughly. In relationships, the male and female tend to find a flaw in their partner and use it against them in the argument. An example of this is given when Tannen stated, “Many of the psychological explanations that have become second nature may not be helpful, because they tend to blame either women (for not being assertive enough) or men (for not being in touch with their feelings)” (3). These flaws are used against the other person in an argument. Evidently, it is not only the female’s fault as to why the relationship is not working; it can also be the male’s…

    • 697 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    In today's Society conversations between males and females has become difficult. There are a lot of miscommunications between males and females. In Deborah Tannen’s article “ Sex, Lies and Conversations” Tannen talks about how men and women talk differently to each other as well as the misunderstandings between each. She believed that no one person was at fault, whereas the differences caused by sexual standards. I feel that communication changes between males and females when in a different age group. These groups range from children, to teens, and adults.…

    • 649 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Men are presented to be intelligent and crafty, while women are presented to be unthinking and lack of critical capacity. For instance, during many sequences, Mr. Worthing and Mr. Algernon used craftiness while Mss. Fairfax and Mss. Cecile showing the lack of critical capacity to discover their craftiness. Also, women are presented to be naïve. For instance, Mss. Cecile and Mss. Fairfax could forgive Mr. Algernon and Mr. Worthing without asked them more explanation about their lay.…

    • 443 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    Genderlect Styles

    • 1770 Words
    • 8 Pages

    According to Tannen, as i mentioned earlier usually we are not aware of this differences between this two gender. Where women are more into serious conversation which will deeply affected human relationship. They tend…

    • 1770 Words
    • 8 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    Essay On Deborah Tannen

    • 3600 Words
    • 15 Pages

    It is been said many times that men will never understand women and vice versa. This stems from the continuing problem known as miscommunication. It is safe to assume that we have all, at one time or another, have found ourselves frustrated and unsatisfied with the opposite sex. When it comes to intimate relationships, this concept seems to rise at a greater level of agitation and tension than other relations with people. Deborah Tannen’s Genderlect Theory gives insight to where these communication complications come from between opposite sexes. She highlights the matters of communication differences such as: (1) women’s rapport versus…

    • 3600 Words
    • 15 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Good Essays

    Genderlect Theory - Deborah Tannen What Women Want Definition: This theory is about how men and women communicate differently and what we can do to bridge the gap between the two communication styles. What seperates men from women - communication wise atleast. Let's find out... The age old question of what women want has been on the minds of men (and occasionally women) such as yourselves since the beginning of time. Heck, they even made a movie out of it! I'm sure that even cavemen were wondering what their women were thinking as they clubbed them over the head. What women want when they communicate is a sense of understanding and community. What Men Want Who knows?! Men say that women are confusing, women say that…

    • 445 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    Tannen 's main point is that men and women are focused on gaining different things when they interact with people. Women are focused on relationships and building friendships. They desire fairness and want everyone to feel equal. They generally try to create community with those whom they interact. Tannen says that women try to avoid differences and emphasize similarities in order to strengthen relationships. While women tend to focus on closeness and intimacy, men, on the other hand, focus on autonomy and respect. They view the world as a hierarchy, and in every conversation they are either one-up or one-down.…

    • 2521 Words
    • 11 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Good Essays

    Deborah Tannen’s “Who Does the Talking Here” first appeared in the July 15, 2007 edition of the Washington Post. Tannen is a professor of linguistics at Georgetown University and an author of many scholarly articles and books on subjects in her field. Tannen states that recent studies to determine who talks more, men or women, have not been helpful in determining that. She argues that these studies are focusing on the word count instead of how these words are being used and in which situation most of the talking is being done. Tannen goes on to state that the comfort with various social situations varies between both genders. She explains that men tend to use "report-talk" whereas women tend to use "rapport-talk." Most of the talking by men…

    • 705 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    A communications expert, Simma Lieberman stated, “Women are more relationship-oriented than men and find things in common with others when forming relationships.” When it comes to relationships and communication the track record for males goes to show that they aren’t engaged into the conversation as much as a female is. Females are into their feelings, not avoiding details and making sure everything is talked out whereas males care, but they aren’t into the details and they just want to get down to the point, state facts and fix the problem so they can go move on from that specific problem.…

    • 1089 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    argumentative

    • 916 Words
    • 3 Pages

    In Deborah Tannen’s essay “But What Do You Mean?,” she discusses how men and women differ in their use of communication “rituals.” Women are designed to take other person’s feelings into consideration and men are designed to maintain a one-sided position. She describes seven ways men and women miscommunicate. First, women use apologies to reassure an individual and men can misinterpret apologies as acceptance of them taking the blame. Second, men criticize more directly than women. Women “soften” their criticism in order to spare the feelings of the person they are criticizing. Third, women often say “thank you” repetitively. Fourth, men enjoy “verbally sparring” more than women. Women feel that they are being attacked in a conversation. Fifth, women and men use praise differently. Women tend to expect praise when they have done a good job and men tend to think that not criticizing is praise. Sixth, women discuss their problems in order to share their experiences. They complain not to have their problems solved but to show sympathy. Men don’t view the complaints as conversation, but as problems to be solved. Finally, men and women tend to differ in their senses of humor. Men prefer teasing and “playful insults” while women prefer humor that is more “self-deprecating.” Because of these differences, women can misinterpret men’s humor as “hostile.” In her essay, Tannen’s argument is convincing; however, I would have to disagree with her arguments on miscommunication styles between the sexes of apologizing, and fighting.…

    • 916 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    “You’re just not understanding!” are words that run rampant in conversations between my husband and me. That is the reason I chose to read You Just Don’t Understand: Woman and Men in Conversation by Deborah Tannen. I needed insight, a way to view conversation differently, something to tell me I wasn’t going crazy when speaking to the male in my house. Sometimes, it would really feel as if I were talking to an alien, someone who spoke a completely different language, even though we use the same verbal construct. Tannen lends her research and knowledge to me as a reader and a fellow woman, thus has impacted the way I communicate with my husband. By learning and understanding that women and men are raised in parallel, yet different cultures,…

    • 1518 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    While observing conversations between women and then men, I was able to notice differences in the conversational styles, as pointed out by Debra Tannen in her essay “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” After having read her essay, it was hard not for me to notice the differences in relation to men vs. women in the midst of conversing.…

    • 514 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    Man Vs Woman

    • 560 Words
    • 3 Pages

    Women are so complex they respond well to the simple things that men do for them. Women are very emotional people, everything seems worse than it really is with them. While not all women are this way but it seems the majority of them are. They can be very open and want to express their feelings and emotions. There is something about women they have a very strong influence on men and may cause men to act irrationally or rationally depending on the quality of woman. Women can be volatile and malicious people if they chose to be. Women can lead to a lot of things for example every man that has ever accomplished something usually had a great woman that helped them get there. Women are usually more mature and responsible than men, they can be a voice of reason to men and inspire them to change themselves for the better.…

    • 560 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays

Related Topics