When I have a complaint about my life and my husband, my single sister asks me “Why did you get married?” She expects to me to said, “Because I’m in love”, but being married is more than love; some times I prefer to be single again. What is better? Marriage is all about compromise, being single allow you to be independent. In this century, both men and women are staying single much longer before they get married for many reasons. Some people are married and have a happy life, others are single and have a sad life, and others want to be single again because they were happy before, and today they have a miserable marriage. The point is: what is the difference of being married or single? To know this answer, people should compare both life styles in these important areas: independency, they way married and single people share, and financial issues.
On one hand, when you are single, you are independent and free. That means, you may take any decision with out having to consult another person because the decision only affects you. For example, one single person decided where they want to live, what the place is for the next vacations, and what movie is going to watch. Single people spend less time thanking decisions because is only one person. On the other hand, being married is more complicated; wife and husband are not independent and free. Married people should consult to his or her partner on all decisions that affect them. They have to decide together where they want to live; it takes more time. To illustrate, maybe she wants to live near to her parents, or he near to his friends. This agreement can take a long time, one week or one month. Vacations can be a huge conflict when they have different tastes. For example, he wants to go to hot spot in the Caribbean, and she wants to go to an Italian island in the Mediterranean ocean. Picking a movie is more complicated, she wants the romantic plot with a handsome guy, and he wants to se the latest action and violent movie.
Another important difference between being married or single is the way they share. When you are single, home is just for you. In contrast, when people are married they have to share almost all: the bed, the room, the car the kids, the weekends etc. In particular, when single people wake up in the morning nobody says nothing to them. On the opposite, married people for years use to say +o their partner at nights “Please turn the TV off” or in the mornings “I can’t sleep because you snore all night!”, awake mad in the morning because of something, or very happy because is bipolar. Single peoples may share with the special friend some times, but if they don’t want to share more because they are feeling uncomfortable, they just break up and that is it, no drama. Married people have to share all because all belong to the wife and husband. They have to adjust to share together their customs, and manners like eat in the bed, listen to a sleepwalker, keep the house in disorder, or drive a car with an empty gas tank, after one of them (wife or husband) always fill the car with gas, the last time he or she drove it.
Another difference between being married is the finances issues. Single people sped the money on parties, dinning out with friends and trips. Basic needs like housing or transportation take a big percent of their budget because they have to pay all. If a single person loses his or her job, he or she has to figure it out alone how to survive or get help from their family. Conversely, married people spend less money on parties or dinning out because they do not have a special person to impress. They spend the money in basic needs, on their kids (when they have), on savings for college, insurance, doctors and expensive counseling for couples because married made them sick or crazy. Sounds funny but is true. Married people in some cases may have economic advantage when both work; pooled income can support each other for basic needs. If one of them loses his or her job, the other supports the house expenses while his partner is recovering, but no for long time because the divorce will be imminent. In addition married people they can run the business together and success. In conclusion being married or single has huge differences: independency, the way the people share and finances issues. Is difficult to look at a relationship from a strictly difference, being single or married involve physical, emotional and economical aspects. Many people prefer to be married because they love their partners too much, accept them in the way they are and believe in love. Others, when they are married and their love for their partners is gone, begin to see all defects of their partners and want to be single again. Other single people are happy and enjoy their independence and solitude. Others just want to be married because look the relationship as a business, (too sad) but are unable to love with passion. So my advice is, before being married, check seriously what do you want, and how much do you like to share, to make the best choice and be happy. Luz M. Acevedo.