Consent and its Place in SM Sex
At first the sting of the whip, and the reddening of her ass felt wonderful, but Carrie knew that the pain would soon become unbearable, despite her stating "refrigerator," her "safe" word. . .
Carrie's example shows us how important consent is in SM, or rather sado- masochism sex play. The most obvious reason consent is important in SM play is the risk of injury and the potential for unwanted danger is avoided. In addition, with understood consent, trust is developed, making the experience more enjoyable to the participants. Reasons for non-consenting play do exist, however these occur only under certain circumstances. When dealing with SM, there is a greater risk of injury and of danger than missionary position sex, simply because of the dynamics of it. When an individual is being tied up the way in which the ropes are tied, how a person is suspended, and whether or not the person has revealed confidential information to be used in the scene all aid to create a potentially dangerous situation. When in bondage, the struggles and wriggles of your partner desperately trying to escape your teasing might tighten a rope of poor quality and/or singularly tied around a wrist, creating major veins to stop circulating . The danger might not even seem obvious until it is too late. It is possible though highly unlikely that one could lose the usage of one's hands. Often in SM sex, extremely intimate information is given to your partner, for example a fantasy. If the fantasy involves play that mainstream American society might not find acceptable, a deeper level of trust would most likely be necessary. Many human beings have rape fantasies. Do they want to actually be raped? The answer to me is very clear, absolutely not. The fantasy, is not about the violent act that rape actually is. It is about control, that control given to another, the feeling that there is no choice. The most significant difference I know of between...
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