The Last Kiss of Conflict
September 16, 2013
A relationship is about being able to share your ideas, thoughts and feelings with the one person that is supposed to love you without judgment. It is that fear of judgment that sometimes keeps us from proper and effective communication in that relationship that are so necessary to keep a relationship going. We become very good at composing our outside persona so that no one really sees our true inner thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we do it so well that not even the other partner in the relationship ever knows that there is anything wrong until it is too late. In the movie The Last Kiss that is what happens. The movie portrays a couple in a long relationship, where the question of marriage has always been on the table, and then they end up pregnant. The female character feels that their new life will start with the baby then end in marriage when work and everything else begins to get easier. This was the start of the conflict. As a couple you need to notice signs in your partner. The male character, you can tell, loves the female character but you can see there is a mound of emotions and doubts weighing on in his mind. He does not make these feelings aware to his partner. Instead he turns to another female he feels he connects with instead of talking to his girlfriend about his doubts and worries about losing his old self. He shares some of his issues with the other female. As a results that mistake in communication escalates into the male character almost losing his pregnant girlfriend. The interpersonal conflict started with a lack of communication in the very beginning of the movie that caused multiple other interpersonal conflicts. This lack of communication was the worries of the male characters thinking his old life will end due to his girlfriend’s pregnancy. Not wanting to share these worries with his girlfriend puts a lack of communication between partners. Although they carried a communication between each other it was lacking self- disclosure, in order to avoid conflict between their relationships. Instead the male character ops for silence and keeps all of his inner feelings and insecurities to himself. If the silence is prolonged, the parties in the relationship may drift apart or seek other people to provide them with emotional support. (Sole, 2011). This is what eventually happened in the movie. The male character turns to another females shoulder to lean on instead of communicating the issues to the person it involves. By this point in the movie I became aware that the communication between the boyfriend and girlfriend was lacking that emotional communication and neither one had great listening skills before the story line even began. I came to that conclusion due to the fact the male character did not feel he could disclose his true feelings and the female was not ever in tuned to his emotions that were obviously displayed in his body language and facial expressions in the beginning when they announce they are pregnant. The most common problems in relationships stem from silence or refusing to communicate, placating the other person, and playing games. These behaviors can sabotage a relationship and prevent honest, open communication. (Sole, 2011). Had the communication been really working between them earlier on the male would have felt secure enough with their relationship to express what was on his mind and she in return would have known something was troubling him without even having to speak. Their lack of communication due to the fact the male character wanted to avoid the conflict of admitting doubts and second thoughts about starting a family ended up escalating in a near loss of everything that he ended up realizing was most important. The movie was a great show of what avoidance and preventing conflict can do to a relationship. I think that if the characters would have been open and honest with each other as well as had the proper self -disclosure along with effective listening skills with one another they would have been able to both make a basic assertion of the problem at hand. Expressing his true emotions may have made him feel vulnerable in the moment but if there was any trust in the relationship it would have been a place to begin analyzing the problem together. The conflict in this movie showed the downward spiral of what happens when morals are questioned and true communication is not involved or avoided. A relationship is being able to come to someone you love with your insecurities and feel like you can both work on a solution. Sometimes that is easier said than done for some. Trying to keep positive communication with your partner needs to be a priority. Making sure we are aware of issues can be done with effectively listening to everything about your partner from emotion to body language. When your partner discloses his or her thoughts it needs to be without judgment. Have sympathy for them. You can try to better understand the problems if you ask questions to make sure you comprehend everything so that you can both work to find a solution.
Sole, K. (2011).Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc.