Communication is Your Foundation
Com200: Interpersonal Communication
Instructor Daniele Doud
May 25, 2015
Dear Mario and Ebony,
First and foremost Congratulations, on your engagement! You are embarking on a wonderful journey “Together!” I am both honored and excited to share with you some important communication skills and information that I have learned in my recent Interpersonal Communications class, on how to communicate effectively and make your relationship as wonderful as possible- I will give you five key elements to do so. The five elements in making any relationship successful are: listen, watch what you say, understand, disclose, and manage. If you are able to do these five things, you will be on the right path to making this a marriage that lasts! Marriages should be built on communication and it should definitely be the foundation. Believe it or not your communication skills with one another can determine whether or not you marriage with prosper or perish. You will not be flawless when it comes to communicating but this letter will hopefully teach you rewarding ways to be effective at it, which you will find to be very important in your marriage. I am excited to have the opportunity to share with you the tools that I have during my class. It is my hope that this information will be useful for you two during your journey. Develop strategies for active, critical, and empathetic listening. Listening to your partner is very important, but when I say listen to them I do not mean just hear the words they are saying to you. Actively hearing and participating with your ears and mind are very important. Active listening involves: having the motivation to listen, clearly hearing the message behind the words, paying attention, interpreting the message, evaluating the message, and remembering and responding appropriately. (Sole, K. 2011) So you see, listening is not the easiest thing in the world nor does it come quickly. “Being preoccupied with one’s own responsibilities and trying to listen while at the same time assessing and framing a reply are barriers to deep listening. One cannot do all these at the same time and pay attention to someone in need.” (Wright, 2006) Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the world around you, but you may find that by allowing yourself a chance to listen freely with nothing burdening you, your communication with your spouse will be open and honest. “Making a connection and partnering in a profound intimate relationship is critical, as it supports the potential for healing and compassion- for hearing the sound of another’s heart, as well as the sound of one’s own.” (Browning & Waite 2010) Some techniques that you can implement into your daily routine to ensure that you are listening to your partner can include: Make eye contact when listening, do not interrupt when they are trying to speak, look for non-verbal cues, and let go of your own agenda. (Stritof, B&S 2008) Remember the key to effective communication is learning how to listen effectively! Words have the power to bring two people closer together and the power to tear them apart. The way a person interprets the words that are spoken is just as important as the way the speaker perceives what they are saying. Using specific words can affect the attitude of a person either positively or negatively. The best piece of advice I can give to you is to choose your words very carefully. Your choice in words can affect the behavior of your spouse and their perception of you as a person. “Sometimes we may not be aware that words we have said have hurt someone deeply even though it was never the intention.” (Yian, L.G. 2007) Watching what we say and the context in which we say it may help to avoid arguments that were completely avoidable. Perception is the way you think about something or the way you understand it. Everyone perceives things differently. Understanding how your partner takes...
References: Bevan, J. L., & Sole, K. (2014). Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication (2nd ed.). San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc.
Browning, S., & Waite, R. (2010). The gift of listening: Just Listening Strategies. Nursing Forum, 45(3), 150-158. doi:10.1111/j.1744-6198.2010.00179.x
Kendrick, A. & S. (Producers/Directors) (2008) Fireproof [Motion Picture].Albany, GA. Samuel Goldwyn Films.
Matthews, W. (1993). Expressing Feelings. North Carolina State University College of agriculture & life sciences. Retrieved from http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/pdfs/fcs2764.pdf
Stritof, B. & S. (n.d.) Listening Skills: True Listening Can Be a Challenge. Retrieved from http://marriage.about.com/cs/listening/a/listeningskills.htm
Yian, L. (2007). From the editor 's desk. Words that heal; words that hurt. Singapore Nursing Journal, 34(1), 3.
Please join StudyMode to read the full document