CBT: When you know better, you do better!
Chaos: If you run your life controlled by your feelings.
Feelings 1st —Behavior 2nd —Belief 3rd ---Thoughts 4th
Effective Living: Run your life controlling your thoughts.
Thoughts 1st ---Belief 2nd ---Behavior 3rd ---Feelings 4th
Take medication as prescribed (if you are)
Have a reinforcement team member(s)
Take care of physical health
Avoid substance abuse
Bio Social Theory
A) People can have a biological vulnerability to emotions. These people are:
3) Slow Return to Baseline
B) These people also have an inability to effectively regulate emotions.
An invalidating enviroments (IE) communicate what you are feeling, thinking and doing is inaccurate, inappropriate, or wrong. The invalidating environment (IE) often rejects, punishes and makes you feel “less than”—and then you begin to invalidate yourself….
Examples: “You’re so stupid!” “I don’t understand why you’re getting so upset.” “There’s something wrong with me.”
Sometimes there is a poor fit between the individual and the environment.
Over time this leads to….
Confusion about self
DISTANCING: Step back, stop, notice, look, observe, don’t judge, breathe, slow down, rest, meditate, use relaxation techniques.
COMMUNICATING: Put words on what you are feeling. Be aware of common physical sensations of your emotional intensity.
CHALLENGING: Think about your situation differently, reframe it in a positive manner, challenge the automatic negative thoughts.
DISTRACTING: Get involved in using soothing activities, leisure activities, positive affirmations, and cheerleading statements.
MANAGINE PROBLEMS: Use problem solving skills to balance logic with emotion.
Interpersonal Relationship Skills:
Balance between maintaining self respect and maintaining the relationship.
Balance between enmeshment and disengagement.
Set healthy boundaries.
Interact in ways that make you feel competent and effective, not helpless and overly dependent.
Resolve interpersonal conflict. Resolve conflicts before they become overwhelming.
Repair relationships. Avoid abusive relationships. End hopeless relationships.
Be assertive. Stand up for yourself, your beliefs, your opinions. Get your opinions taken seriously.
Say “no” to unwanted requests.
Don’t let hurts and problems build up.
Act in a way that the other person keeps liking and respecting you.
Balance immediate goals for the good of the long-term relationship.
Suggestions for Life:
Don’t fight to change who you are.
Integrate who you are.
Accept and embrace who you are.
Find circumstances and people that are the best fit for you.
Don’t fight so much. Accept others’ faults. If we focus on the negative, it only makes the problem(s) worse.
What can you do to distract yourself and not let the person and/or the problem to ruin your life?
5 Areas of Deregulation:
When someone hurts you, don’t say something like “you were rude, etc.” Instead say, “your behavior felt rude when you and I felt hurt, etc.”
Avoid black and white thinking: All or nothing thinking.
My Goals for Therapy
1) List your reasons for attending therapy:
2) List some behaviors you are currently having trouble with:
3) List some changes you’d like to make as a result of therapy. Try to list one from each category:
Getting the most out of STEPPS:
1) Focus on the present; the here and now.
2) Assume personal responsibility for your behaviors.
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