Children of divorce

Topics: Divorce, Emotion, Marriage Pages: 6 (4075 words) Published: November 2, 2014

Children of Divorce
Shawn Bianchi
Devry University

Children of Divorce
Victoria was on the playground at school playing with all her friends, when all of a sudden she saw her dad on the school playground. The only thing she remembers is her dad telling her “Tell your mom I am not coming home tonight”. Victoria sat there stunned and didn’t know how to respond. Her parents eventually did divorce. After they divorced, both parents would bad mouth the other parent in front of her and her brother. Victoria became a messenger which put her in the middle having to choose between parents. She became used to her dad saying he was coming to get her for his visits and then never show up. Due to the high level of conflict that continued between her parents, neither parent was there for the emotional support of her or her brother. Victoria grew up with low self-esteem, difficulty with interpersonal relationships, caught in the middle of her parents as well as the loss of her father being involved in her life. Stories such as this one are far too common and there are ways that this situation can be avoided. Adults are here to protect our children’s emotional and well-being so that children are less likely to experience this situation when there parent’s decide to divorce. By empowering parents, attorneys and therapists to put children first is not an easy thing to do when emotions are so high in regards to the loss of the family structure. Children such as Victoria should not be placed in the middle of adult issues. They need to feel loved, secured, and safe from both parents in order to lessen the negative impacts they may experience. This will not be an easy process, as divorce is such a life changing event. The purpose of this proposal on the potential negative impacts is to convince readers that changing educational classes, developing an effective co-parenting plan as well as therapeutic interventions is what is needed to help protect children’s emotional well-being. These plans will help children to feel safe and secure. As a child of divorce as well as a divorced mother of 4 I have a unique way of presenting the potential impacts divorce may have on the children. I will include several sources that will establish my credibility regarding children of divorce in regards to high conflict divorce. The ideas of Johnston (1994), Kelly & Emery (2003), and Armato & Booth (1996), as well as others, who are experts on this topic, will help to establish my credibility. Divorce is a heartbreaking event that affects not only the parents involved but also the children. This life altering transition impacts all who are involved. Parents may be unable to be a support system to the child due to their own emotional feelings. Children are faced with adult problems and are unable to just be kids. These emotions range from fear, anger and confusion. The negative effects of children of divorce can lead to poor social interaction, poor academic performance and low self-esteem. Depending on the level of conflict between both parents, the parents are more likely to go through mediation and long drawn out court battles. To lessen the potential negative impacts divorce may have on children, lawyers, judicial system, educators and counselors should be integrated into the divorce process as a whole unit to ensure the best interest of the children is what’s important. This will save time, money as well as benefit all who are involved. Problem Analysis

Unfortunately, divorce has become an American way of life. Divorced moved into mainstream America over the course of three decades and began to stabilize in the 1980’s. The ethical shift began to go from obligation to family to obligation to one’s own happiness. In other words, no longer were the parent’s interest in the children and family; instead individual happiness became the new standard in which marriage was judged, However, the major stakeholders that were overlooked were children....

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Amato, P., & Booth, A. (1996), A prospective study of divorce and parent-children relationships. Journal of Marriage & Family, 58(2), 356-365.
Bryner, C.L. (2001) Children of divorce. Journal of American Board of Family Practice, 14(3), 201-210.
Kelly, J.B., & Emery, R.E. (2003). Children’s adjustment following divorce: Risk and resilence perspectives. Family Relations, 52(4), 352-362.
Portnoy, S. (2008). The psychology of divorce: A Lawyer’s Primer, Part 2: the effects of divorce on children. American Journal of Family Law, 21(4), 126-134.
Sandler, I., Miles, J., Cookston, J., & Braver, S. (2008). Effects of father and mother parenting on children 's mental health in high and low conflict divorces. Family Court Review, 46(2), 282-296. 
Whithead, B.D
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