I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
Only a mentally deranged builder would cut corners with the foundation and pillars of a mansion he plans to live in. A parallel could be drawn between the pertinence of the foundation of a mansion or sky-scraper and that of the foundation of a child. I dare state that the latter is more important, because, While an unethical builder could gamble with the foundation of an edifice he doesn’t plan to live; parents can't afford such risks, as children are what make up the home they live in. Lots of home are on the verge of plunging down or have collapsed because these jet-age parents have failed in their responsibility to painstakingly train up their wards. Prodigal sons are not made overnight, but are consequence of years of neglect or abdication of duty on the part of the parents. No farmer plants crops and walk away to water several months after. Even if the plants survived, they would be badly nourished. Rather, a farmer - waters the crops, fertilizes it, tills and weeds the ground to get rid of extenuating influences; the farmer nurtures the crops to ensure bountiful harvest. Yet, the tasks of parenting transcends the ephemeral work of a farmer. Parenting traverse fathering a child. Any mad man could do that. Parenting is beyond putting food on the table; trust me, arm-robbers are better at getting that money. Parenting starts with love
Love is key in parenting as it invariably determines the level of sacrifice parents are willing to make. As basic as this sounds, lots of kids grew up in loveless home. A home where they daily witness the remake of world-war2 between mummy & daddy. Or a home, where the single Mother never failed to blame the innocent baby for her personal woes. A home where, the single mother are not proud to show them off as gifts that they are. Psalms 127v3-6 Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate. Uncaring single mother is mild, Some men are - worse off, recalcitrant. To every single mother, there is a an absconding father. This may sound harsh; but it takes the he-goat in man to walk away from a child of his groins; irrespective of the circumstance surrounding the birth of the child. The circumstance may be a mistake, but you denying paternity of a child you know is yours is not. It's choice. It's a premeditated effort to deny an innocent child of a fatherly love. Annoying enough, the mistake was occasioned by your raging hormones and not the poor kids; so, why punish them. The effect of this is far-reaching and can never be over-emphasized. Except for the grace of God and extra work on the part of the single parent, kids from broken homes are more negatively exposed to societal influence. This aforementioned consequence is inconsequential to the childhood trauma these kids go through while growing up. I could still remember vividly, the very first night I spent outside my lovely momma's care; despite the fact I knew I was only going to be away for few months; I still wept because I missed her. I was barely 11 yrs then. Acknowledge your mistakes and start making effort to address them head-on; don't hide your head in the sand and wish them away like the ostrich do.
Be their role model.
It’s de-facto, for kids to make a role-model of their parents; as "do as I say and not as I do" maxim does not work with kids. Actually, kids do both; at tender age, babies do more of observing than anything else and they relish mimicking events around them. They re-echo what they here and imitate your actions like baboons. This greatly underscore the need for parents to drop off compromising habits that could invariably define their kids’ character. Most wife beaters are not made overnight, but are kids who grew up watching their dads turn momma to punch-bags. The easiest route to coaching kids is via acting it, which explains why pre-schools leverage on shapes and graphics to excite their learning instincts. In the same light, the easiest way a parent can build a kid's character is by living the character. They need your money, but they need your time, MORE.
Contemporary parents equate parenting to funding. Funding is cool stuff; the kids wouldn't lack stuff money can buy; best wardrobe, good nourishment and may be, excellent class-room education. So, to sustain that source of funding, parents work round the clock. Daddy and momma disappear before cock-crows in the morning without the chance to hold their kids and possibly return home in the night, lot past bed-time. This cycle runs Monday-Friday and in the process, leaving the task of core-parenting to maids of questionable character. Objectively, kids get excited with the gifts, expensive stuffs, etc, but do they really put those items ahead of invaluable abstract entity like love, family play-time; I strongly doubt that. Pause a moment and reflect on what's important to you; your fat-pay-check, career, family. Psychologically, we consciously or involuntarily spend more time on things we value most and if we truly value these kids, then we need to adjust our time-table to reflect this. Control is important, but not at expense of friendship.
Just as we are likely going to share our good news, trouble, pains and excitement with our close friends; so will your kids open up to you as parents if you create an atmosphere of friendship. Lots of parents have been worse off than Ghadaffi in their homes where their words are law and ye & amen. You may exert your desired control with that posture, but there are chances that you would your connection to those kids when they are grown up. On the flip side, you gonna need them to come around and chat with you when you are growing senile and you definitely wouldn't appreciate a dry-monologue-like conversation. So, don't blow up that bridge of friendship.
In conclusion, imagine a society, where every parents ensure they bring up their wards in the right path. This is the fastest way to change a nation. Just as the foundation of a building determines how high the building can go; so also the foundation of your wards determine how far they can go in life; it determines the extent of impact they would make in humanity. Let's get down to work and may God help us all.