You could have heard a pin drop in the silence of the delivery room. None of the nurses dared to make a sound as Megan cradled her lifeless baby in her limp arms. A stream of tears flowed from Megan’s large hazel eyes as she stared at her child. She thought about all the endless things she would have done with her daughter. She could have spoiled her by buying her pink, poufy outfits to dress her. The air felt thick and full of sadness. Ryan stood next to his despaired wife, looking over her slumped shoulder to gaze at his daughter. She was beautiful. She had the cutest button nose and a few blonde hairs on her tiny, premature head. A tear fell from his striking green eyes onto the glossed floor below him. “Sweet Pea.”, Ryan forced out.
“Everything will be alright.”, he said a few seconds later, hoping that it was true. Eight months into Megan’s pregnancy the car door hit her womb causing the baby to die. Ryan and Megan were not the typical couple. Megan was not able to conceive traditionally, so they attempted to use In-Vitro Fertilization to help them conceive. Their first attempt failed horribly and with their second try they got pregnant. “Th-this is my fault.”, Megan said, sobbing.
“I-I should have watched where I was walking.”, she stuttered. As Ryan tucked his wife’s long dirty blonde hair behind her pierced ears he countered, “Don’t you ever say that Meg, this is no ones fault.” “Bu-ut it is. I ruined my-our chances to be the parents we always wanted to be. We finally got pregnant after all we have been through, and now… nothing. We have nothing.”, Megan shot back, angry with herself. The devastated couple ignored the soft beeping of the machines and all the nurses surrounding them as they continued their heated conversation. “We will always have each other, Sweet Pea.”, Ryan responded. Megan ignored what Ryan said and continued weeping as she held her baby close to her chest. At that point Megan’s heart rate and blood pressure began to escalate. She was angry with herself and everyone around her, especially at God. She wondered why He had done this to her, after he knew how much she wanted to be a parent. As the tears rolled down her eyes, she whispered to Ryan, “I’ll never do this again.” It was in that moment the swaddled dead baby was taken away from her arms.
The following days and weeks after Megan got home were utterly terrible. She didn’t care about anything or anyone. She distanced herself from all her family and friends, including Ryan. She began to only wear large t-shirts and sweat pants and barely bothered to maintain her once healthy hygiene. Megan tossed and turned and was not able to fall asleep as her body remembered the movement of her baby as it used to lull her to sleep through her pregnancy. That memory haunted her nights. Megan lost a dramatic amount of weight as she did not have an appeal to eat anymore. She knew how important her health and well-being was, but she didn’t care to do anything about it. Megan never left her house after she delivered her baby. She lacked interest in her business, leaving her husband to manage it alone. The atmosphere in the house was somber for a long, long time and her desire for life had diminished. Her business suffered, her marriage suffered and Megan remained indifferent. Megan buried herself in guilt and self-pity because she thought it was her fault. She blamed herself that her baby had died. She thought how different her life would have been if she watched what she was doing and hadn’t closed her Jeep door so quickly, slamming it into her womb. She hated herself for this. Every night Megan would clamp her hands together, kneeling at her bedside asking, “Dear almighty Father, why would You do this to me? Why? You knew how much I wanted to have a child and start my own family. That was the only thing I asked You for and You took it away from me. First You created me to be infertile so I couldn’t have a child naturally, then after planting a...
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