First problem that Sammy has low self-esteem is the most important problem among her problems. She cannot find anything worth to admire in herself. She thinks no one is worse than her, On account of life position theory(Harris,1969), which is a perspective on the world based on feelings about self and others. Sammy is in the “I’m not OK, you’re OK” position. Why? The fact that she had unsatisfactory results in her public examinations made a huge attack on her confidence. The four sources of self-esteem, social interaction, social information, social comparison, and self-observation (Baron, 1990) play big role. So, how could Sammy build up self-esteem? At first, she needs to understand no one is perfect. Everyone has four developmental areas of self, which are physical self, mental self, emotional self and social self (Hanna, Suggett, & Radtke, 2007). You can develop different areas of self. Also, she needs to evaluate the sources of self-esteem and make positive changes.
Secondly, Sammy is not capable of knowing herself and have unclear goal in future. It may be the one of reasons that her getting an unsatisfactory result in public examination. Sammy has tried to make choice just satisfy what her parents want her to do; but now, situation is worse, she have lost her own decision to determine what should do next. She does not know about her totality of thoughts and feelings with reference to herself as an object. (Rosenberg, 1979) so, how could she do? Firstly, It is important to know that ‘self’ can be improved and developed. Then, she needs to have a suitable goal for herself. Strike a balance in four developmental Areas. Sammy should Develop and know self very well.
Last problem is within Sammy’s family. Sammy prefers to show an angry or silent rather than talk with his parents when they have conflict. Unfortunately, these moves are bad for their family. The reason why he refuses to communicate may be that he is afraid of being criticized in the communication. So he shows defensive emotion and refuses to express his emotion and ideas so as to protect himself from criticism. And here is my advice. Firstly, family is a relatively small domestic group who function as a cooperative. Then, make more conversation with her parents by positive words. Self-disclosure is also of great importance for a good family.
1. Hanna, S.L., Suggett, R., & Radtke, D. (2007). Person to Person: Positive Relationships Don’t Just Happen. (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ:Prentice-Hall.