April 6, 2014
“Being Me Is Hard To Do”
Everyone has things that they find more difficult to do than others. Mary Seymour discusses her challenges in her essay “Call me crazy, But I have to be myself” about her life dealing with bipolar. It is not unusual for a person to have their down sides but when it starts to affect your daily living it becomes a problem. Seymour describes her struggles with accepting her disorder, her struggles with expressing herself, and her obstacles with being herself and helping others like her.
Accepting the fact that you have bipolar disorder may be hard for someone who thinks their normal. You feel as if you’re living your life like everyone else until you have a break down. Seymour dealing with the stress of a failing marriage and fanned by the genetic inheritance of a manic-depressive grandfather had a psychotic break. After breaking down at the age of 36, she was diagnosed as bipolar, a condition marked by moods that swing between elation and despair. It took a while coping with who she was and it took a deep depression to convince herself of that.
Freedom is all she wanted. After being barricaded behind the walls of a psychiatric ward, watching everyone come and go, while wondering if she would ever be herself again. Feeling as if she’s an imposter. Not able to bring out her inner self. Wanting to speak on her past and joke about her pain. She wanted people to understand and know the real her. But knowing the real her and accepting both sides of her, she was afraid it would scare the bejesus out of people. Things that most people complained about strike her as incredible privileges such as paying bills, working 9 to 5, or even maintaining a car. She admired the little things in life that most people tool for granted. She yearned to integrate both sides of herself. She wanted to be in the normal world but having her own identity as bipolar. Fear had held her back long enough. She wanted...
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