The attending cluster consist of the following Skills:
A Posture of Involvment
Appropriate Body Motion
Creating a Nondistrcting Enviroment
Bolton, in his book People Skills (1979), describes attending as giving all of your physical attention to another person. The process of attending, whether you realize it or not, has a considerable impact on the quality of communication that goes on between two people. For example, by attending you are saying to the other person "I am intersted in what you have to say", however, a lack of good attending communicates that "I really don't care about what you have to say."
The body can be used as a tool to facilitate good communication. This is done through positioning the parts of the body so that they invite and hold an interpersonal relation. A relaxed alertness expressed by body posture seems best suited for fostering good communication.
Bolton offers these suggestions to establish a posture of involvment: * Lean toward the speaker. This will communicate energy and attentiveness. * Face the other squarly (i.e., your right sholuder to the speakers left). This communicates your involvment. It is especially important for you to position yourself so that you are at eye level with the speaker if you are seen as a authority figure. This will circumnavigate feelings of threat and can greatly aid in forming an interpersonal relationship. * Maintaining an open posture is also important for fostering interpersonal relatedness. A closed posture (i.e., crossed arms and or legs) often communicates coldness and defensiveness. * You also need to be aware of your proximity to the speaker. We all have a concept of "personal space." When those boundaries are crossed it puts the other on the defensive and makes them feel uncomfortable. However, to much distance communicates aloofness and disconectedness.
Body motion, it's a funny thing! Have you ever paid attention to what your hands were