Attachment Style: How It Affects Love Relationships

Individual attachments styles can affect the type of love relationships later on in life because one learns behavioral traits as a young child. Robert Sternberg introduced us to his Love Triangle theory in 1988. He explained that the way a person was brought up as a child can affect the way they express themselves as adults. The question remains as to why does this affect one as an adult. If one is taught from right and wrong then why does one express themselves negatively towards others? According to Robert Sternberg’s findings, “as infants we survive only if an adult is willing to meet our basic needs. Early in life we form bonds with our caregivers.” By this he means we learn very early on about how we can depend on others. If our caregivers ignore us and do not help us when we need help one will learn to depend on no one else but themselves. Whereas if a person is taught that they can depend on others to help them they will grow to learn that there are people out there that can help them in situations that they may need help in. Let’s first examine what life would be like if one is taught that they must depend only on themselves in order to make it in this world. As this person grew they would become distant from others. They more then likely would not be social and never ask for help when a problem may occur. This person may also act out and do harm to others or themselves. For instance if there was no one that this person could turn to, this person may fill compelled to drop out of school because they feel it is not worth the effort since no one is expressing their interest in their accomplishments. This person may also resort to drugs and alcohol as well as violence. The drugs and alcohol will numb their feelings and they may finally feel accepted into a group of people. If this occurs, and these groups of people are violent, they will then learn to be violent as well. Violence can occur without drugs and alcohol because this

Cited: Axia College of University of Phoenix. (2008). Introduction to Positive Psychology. Retrieved September 21, 2008, from Axia College, Week One reading, aXcess, PSY 220-Positive Psychology Course Web site. (Robert Sternberg)